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Turkey semen

wesfau2

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Turkey semen
« on: November 20, 2008, 08:17:01 PM »
...is harvested manually by a guy with a rubber glove.  Commercially grown male turkeys, or "toms" if you will, have breast muscles so large that their tiny legs can't get them close enough to turkey vag for normal turkey lovin.

Thus, the men in the gloves have to box little turkey clowns to collect the turkey baby batter to artificially inseminate turkey hens so that you bastards can have turkey for thanksgiving every year.
This is the shit you learn on tv these days.  If the lobby bar had any talent whatsoever, employee or patron, I would not know this.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Pell City Tiger

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2008, 08:44:32 PM »
This problem stems from a lack of turkey porn. Because of this, Tom's have no incentive to squeeze off any knuckle children on their own.


I wonder how much money a turkey spanker makes? Seems like a great episode suggestion for that "Dirty Jobs" dude.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2008, 10:15:31 PM »
That might beat out mop boy at a peep show for worst job of all time.

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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2008, 09:51:01 AM »
That might beat out mop boy at a peep show for worst job of all time.



Dudes  :bugs:
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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2008, 10:15:19 AM »
This problem stems from a lack of turkey porn. Because of this, Tom's have no incentive to squeeze off any knuckle children on their own.


I wonder how much money a turkey spanker makes? Seems like a great episode suggestion for that "Dirty Jobs" dude.

Already did it.
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You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him: "That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

AUChizad

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2008, 10:42:46 AM »
That might beat out mop boy at a peep show for worst job of all time.



The jizz-mopper's job is to clean up the booths afterward, because practically everybody shoots a load against the window, and I don't know if you know or not, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.
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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2008, 12:29:21 PM »
I am probably going to catch some crap for admitting to this, but I have Dirty Jobs setup to record on my DVR. I love that show. My favorite is when he went to work in an alligator farm and kept getting bit in the leg. I think that show broke the record for most bleeps in a one hour show, beating out an episode of the Osbornes.

If you missed the episode in which he pulled out sheep balls with his teeth, then you missed some great stuff:
http://www.youtube.com/v/AD3IXGyHt9c&hl=en&fs=1
« Last Edit: November 21, 2008, 12:34:43 PM by Ranger12 »
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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2008, 12:43:26 PM »
I am probably going to catch some crap for admitting to this, but I have Dirty Jobs setup to record on my DVR. I love that show. My favorite is when he went to work in an alligator farm and kept getting bit in the leg. I think that show broke the record for most bleeps in a one hour show, beating out an episode of the Osbornes.

If you missed the episode in which he pulled out sheep balls with his teeth, then you missed some great stuff:
http://www.youtube.com/v/AD3IXGyHt9c&hl=en&fs=1

No crap here...I love the show too!!  Mike Rowe might be one of the whitiest people on TV!!
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CCTAU

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2008, 01:33:15 PM »
No crap here...I love the show too!!  Mike Rowe might be one of the whitiest people on TV!!

Is this a hilariously racial slur?
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Tarheel

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2008, 02:21:20 PM »
Is this a hilariously racial slur?

"'Here we go again.'"


By the way, I get a kick out of watching that show too; can't say that the DVR is set to record it though.
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The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. 
-Ayn Rand

The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money.
-The Right Honourable Margaret Thatcher

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
-Milton Friedman

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
-Ronald Reagan

When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
-Thomas Jefferson

GarMan

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2008, 02:23:49 PM »
"'Here we go again.'"

You people better cut that shit out right now.  And, I do mean "YOU PEOPLE". 
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

Tarheel

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2008, 02:37:11 PM »
You people better cut that shit out right now.  And, I do mean "YOU PEOPLE". 

Better watch out guys...

 :admin:


...of course the same could be said for me for using that "smiley".
« Last Edit: November 21, 2008, 02:38:34 PM by Tarheel »
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The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. 
-Ayn Rand

The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money.
-The Right Honourable Margaret Thatcher

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
-Milton Friedman

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
-Ronald Reagan

When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
-Thomas Jefferson

Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2008, 03:52:01 PM »
Whitiest instead of wittiest. How funny.

lifesapple has been staring at those bouncing boobs for so long, he never got much of an edumacation.
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Tarheel

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2008, 03:57:19 PM »
Whitiest instead of wittiest. How funny.

lifesapple has been staring at those bouncing boobs for so long, he never got much of an edumacation.

I have to admit that I can't take my eyes off of them either!  Young, bouncy titties!  Yeah...I'd motorboat 'em.
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The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. 
-Ayn Rand

The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money.
-The Right Honourable Margaret Thatcher

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
-Milton Friedman

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
-Ronald Reagan

When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
-Thomas Jefferson

GarMan

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2008, 05:02:40 PM »
lifesapple has been staring at those bouncing boobs for so long, he never got much of an edumacation.

I suppose that explains the lazy eye too...   :blink:
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2008, 01:14:25 PM »
Whitiest instead of wittiest. How funny.

lifesapple has been staring at those bouncing boobs for so long, he never got much of an edumacation.

I did go to the puplic skool!! 
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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2008, 01:17:34 PM »
Yeah...I'd motorboat 'em.

You son-of-a-bitch!!!!
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Tiger Wench

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #17 on: November 22, 2008, 01:27:30 PM »
Mike Rowe is teh hots.  He makes me tingle where my bathing suit goes.  My favorite episode is the one where he takes a mud bath - cause he takes his shirt off... :thumbsup:
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War Eagle!!!

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #18 on: November 22, 2008, 01:28:56 PM »
Mike Rowe is teh hots.  He makes me tingle where my bathing suit goes. 

He makes your nipples tingle?
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Tiger Wench

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Re: Turkey semen
« Reply #19 on: November 22, 2008, 01:29:46 PM »
He makes your nipples tingle?
Nah - they don't work too well since the surgery...
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