Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports

Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s

War Damn Six

  • ***
  • 500
  • Pale Rider
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #20 on: February 23, 2024, 06:27:17 PM »
I have the two ultimate dad jokes but they are wayyyyyyyyy too long for this format. 
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
“If you're waitin' for a woman to make up her mind, you may have a long wait.” Preacher

Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #21 on: February 24, 2024, 06:50:04 AM »
I recently came into a bunch of money...which is strange for me, I usually just use a paper towel.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44166
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #22 on: February 24, 2024, 10:46:45 AM »
I recently came into a bunch of money...which is strange for me, I usually just use a paper towel.

Oooohhh…
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

WiregrassTiger

  • *
  • 12169
  • Don't touch Tappy, he's a service tiger.
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #23 on: February 24, 2024, 12:38:04 PM »
I have the two ultimate dad jokes but they are wayyyyyyyyy too long for this format.
Seriously, thank you for this. But keep in mind, there has yet to be anything that is funny posted in this thread so we would probably all handle the longwindedness just to be able to hear something that is finally funny. I know a guy on Facebook that constantly posts the dumbest puns and dad jokes. It’s every single motherfucking day. No one laughs and he just keeps right on going. He’s like Ralph Malph but queer.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Like my posts on www.tigersx.com

War Damn Six

  • ***
  • 500
  • Pale Rider
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #24 on: February 24, 2024, 01:17:53 PM »
Seriously, thank you for this. But keep in mind, there has yet to be anything that is funny posted in this thread so we would probably all handle the longwindedness just to be able to hear something that is finally funny. I know a guy on Facebook that constantly posts the dumbest puns and dad jokes. It’s every single motherfucking day. No one laughs and he just keeps right on going. He’s like Ralph Malph but queer.

I ❤️ you.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
1
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
Members reacted like:
WiregrassTiger,
No reactions
“If you're waitin' for a woman to make up her mind, you may have a long wait.” Preacher

Kaos

  • *
  • 29231
  • Jeez
    • No, YOU Move!
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #25 on: February 24, 2024, 03:22:37 PM »
I accidentally took a double dose of viagra.

Man, that was the hardest day ever. 
friendly
0
funny
0
like
1
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
Members reacted like:
WiregrassTiger,
No reactions
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #26 on: February 24, 2024, 05:38:25 PM »
I have the two ultimate dad jokes but they are wayyyyyyyyy too long for this format.

I’d enjoy the read, if you’ll type the damn things. If we can endure a novel from Snags every day, you’re good.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
1
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
Members reacted like:
WiregrassTiger,
No reactions
Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

WiregrassTiger

  • *
  • 12169
  • Don't touch Tappy, he's a service tiger.
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #27 on: February 24, 2024, 07:04:44 PM »
I’d enjoy the read, if you’ll type the damn things. If we can endure a novel from Snags every day, you’re good.
^^THIS^^!!!!
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Like my posts on www.tigersx.com

Kaos

  • *
  • 29231
  • Jeez
    • No, YOU Move!
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #28 on: February 25, 2024, 07:49:22 AM »
A guy I used to know died after falling into a giant vat of coffee. 

At least he didn’t suffer.  It was instant.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #29 on: February 25, 2024, 08:09:59 AM »
I got fired from the keyboard factory recently. They told me I had too many escape attempts and not enough shifts.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Kaos

  • *
  • 29231
  • Jeez
    • No, YOU Move!
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #30 on: February 25, 2024, 09:31:23 AM »
I got offered a job at a mirror factory.

I could see myself working there.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Kaos

  • *
  • 29231
  • Jeez
    • No, YOU Move!
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #31 on: February 25, 2024, 09:32:13 AM »
I thought I was on time for a conference on premature ejaculation.

I wasn't. Everybody else came early.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #32 on: February 25, 2024, 10:26:49 AM »
I got offered a job at a mirror factory.

I could see myself working there.

Stolen from A Night at the Roxbury and used on my wife occasionally…

“Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants”
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Kaos

  • *
  • 29231
  • Jeez
    • No, YOU Move!
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #33 on: February 25, 2024, 02:00:28 PM »
Nine out of ten women I surveyed on their favorite brand of shampoo responded

“Get the hell out of my shower”
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Kaos

  • *
  • 29231
  • Jeez
    • No, YOU Move!
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #34 on: February 25, 2024, 02:03:08 PM »
My cute mail lady was really surprised when I opened the door naked.

She also wanted to know how I knew where she lived.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #35 on: February 26, 2024, 06:24:17 AM »
How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit," and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it."
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44166
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #36 on: February 28, 2024, 04:28:22 PM »
Sad news.  I broke up with my girlfriend, Lorraine. I've started seeing a new girl, Claire Lee.  The good news is, I can see Claire Lee now, Lorraine is gone.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
1
dislike
1
No reactions
No reactions
Members reacted like:
Snakebite,
Members reacted dislike:
WiregrassTiger,
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #37 on: February 29, 2024, 12:08:45 PM »
How do you circumcise a Bama fan?

By kicking his sister in the jaw.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44166
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #38 on: February 29, 2024, 12:20:32 PM »
What's the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos...
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44166
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #39 on: February 29, 2024, 12:23:04 PM »
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.

Don't tell me that's a coincidence.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."