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Have you ever crapped your pants?

GH2001

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Have you ever crapped your pants?
« on: September 23, 2021, 01:21:35 PM »
Like, as an adult?

I don't mean like a fart that needed a little TP attention after. Im talking doo-doo in ya drawers kind of stuff. Dumb and Dumber-like close but no cigar ordeals don't count - although I've had several of those where I took slight pity on the toilet for what I had just put it through.

Ive heard rumor that if Wiregrass hits his head the wrong way on the wall, he starts counting backwards from 1000 and does number 2 without even remembering it 5 mins later. Id pay good money to see that on video.
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Kaos

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2021, 01:26:40 PM »
Like, as an adult?

I don't mean like a fart that needed a little TP attention after. Im talking doo-doo in ya drawers kind of stuff. Dumb and Dumber-like close but no cigar ordeals don't count - although I've had several of those where I took slight pity on the toilet for what I had just put it through.

Ive heard rumor that if Wiregrass hits his head the wrong way on the wall, he starts counting backwards from 1000 and does number 2 without even remembering it 5 mins later. Id pay good money to see that on video.

Steak and Shake used to have a dark chocolate milkshake. 
All I'm going to say about that is don't drink it at 2 am and then embark on a four-hour drive. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

GH2001

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2021, 01:29:39 PM »
Steak and Shake used to have a dark chocolate milkshake. 
All I'm going to say about that is don't drink it at 2 am and then embark on a four-hour drive.

that would be the Taco Bell Nachos Belle Grande for me amigo. If you were to chew it all up and spit it back out on a plate, it wouldn't look any different than how it looks going out. Its almost like work getting rid of that type stuff.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2021, 01:39:06 PM »
A full day and night of heavy drinking at Lake Eufaula caused me to wake up at 2:00 a.m. with drawers full of chocolate goodness.  Only time I ever full on shat myself.  But now, being my age, every fart has potential for disaster.
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Headin' for the south lands
Lookin' for some fun
Down below that dixie mason
I know your the one
My tongue is chasin' my eyes are wide
I can see paradise
I been down here once or twice
But I never seen it look so nice

GH2001

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2021, 01:43:11 PM »
A full day and night of heavy drinking at Lake Eufaula caused me to wake up at 2:00 a.m. with drawers full of chocolate goodness.  Only time I ever full on shat myself.  But now, being my age, every fart has potential for disaster.

Never trust a fart past ___.


I need answers here. Im between 40 and 50 and this matters.
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Kaos

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2021, 01:43:45 PM »
that would be the Taco Bell Nachos Belle Grande for me amigo. If you were to chew it all up and spit it back out on a plate, it wouldn't look any different than how it looks going out. Its almost like work getting rid of that type stuff.

Ever target sprayed a stand of deer? 

Oh, and there was that time in Penney's or Dillards (which is chronicled here in some long-ago story) that was epic.  I remember the start.... Had just left the sushi bar by the mall entrance and made my way to center court when the first thunderous rumbling of Mount Vesuvius rippled through my gut.   If I'd turned around I would have been fine. I could have gone back to the sushi bar in time.  But I convinced myself it would settle.  10, 15, 20 more steps and the rumble roared again. There would be no settle. Eruption was imminent.   I was now trapped in no-man's land.  The volcanic spew was coming and I had to find a place to land.  The mall bathroom was at the other end of the hall. Equidistant were the anchor store (where the bathroom was upstairs) or  the sushi bar where I'd have to weave my way past the hostess and to the back of the place.  I chose the anchor store.  To their regret. 

I'll have to find that one.  It was perhaps the worst thing ever.

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GH2001

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2021, 01:46:37 PM »
Ever target sprayed a stand of deer? 

Oh, and there was that time in Penney's or Dillards (which is chronicled here in some long-ago story) that was epic.  I remember the start.... Had just left the sushi bar by the mall entrance and made my way to center court when the first thunderous rumbling of Mount Vesuvius rippled through my gut.   If I'd turned around I would have been fine. I could have gone back to the sushi bar in time.  But I convinced myself it would settle.  10, 15, 20 more steps and the rumble roared again. There would be no settle. Eruption was imminent.   I was now trapped in no-man's land.  The volcanic spew was coming and I had to find a place to land.  The mall bathroom was at the other end of the hall. Equidistant were the anchor store (where the bathroom was upstairs) or  the sushi bar where I'd have to weave my way past the hostess and to the back of the place.  I chose the anchor store.  To their regret. 

I'll have to find that one.  It was perhaps the worst thing ever.

hey that's a classic.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2021, 02:16:08 PM »
Never trust a fart past ___.

40 to 50
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2021, 02:42:51 PM »
Not only can you not trust a fart these days, when it's time to go....it's TIME to go.  We've all had those episodes where the stomach churns and knots up, telling you that you'd better have that ass hovering over some water-filled porcelain within the next couple of minutes.

But now, nothing has to churn.  It may just be time for that good morning mawonga dump, but those ass cheeks can't squeeze tight enough to hold it back.
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Headin' for the south lands
Lookin' for some fun
Down below that dixie mason
I know your the one
My tongue is chasin' my eyes are wide
I can see paradise
I been down here once or twice
But I never seen it look so nice

GH2001

  • *
  • 21876
  • I'm a Miller guy. Always been. Since I was like, 8
Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2021, 03:28:15 PM »
Not only can you not trust a fart these days, when it's time to go....it's TIME to go.  We've all had those episodes where the stomach churns and knots up, telling you that you'd better have that ass hovering over some water-filled porcelain within the next couple of minutes.

But now, nothing has to churn.  It may just be time for that good morning mawonga dump, but those ass cheeks can't squeeze tight enough to hold it back.

And we all know you have nice muscular ass cheeks. So that means a lot coming from a guy like you.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #10 on: September 24, 2021, 01:37:57 PM »
40 to 50
i just spent 45 minutes trying to post.

Fuck GF.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #11 on: September 24, 2021, 01:40:47 PM »
40 to 50
i just spent 45 minutes trying to post.

Has anyone said fuck GF, today?
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GH2001

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #12 on: September 24, 2021, 02:27:39 PM »
i just spent 45 minutes trying to post.

Has anyone said fudge GF, today?

Speaking of fudge....
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bottomfeeder

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Re: Have you ever crapped your pants?
« Reply #13 on: October 02, 2021, 11:13:20 AM »
On several occasions as a tradesman. One time in -15 degrees below zero overhead in a pipe rack. It literally froze to my ass. Over 50 now, I never trust a fart.
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