Texas was bad. Really bad.
So was notre dame. And Ohio state. And Aggie. And Florida state. And USC. what does this all mean?
Preseason shit is exactly that - shit. Rankings are useless until a month in. We need to quit doing them. They cause damage via preconceived notions they create. Look at all the ranked teams shitting the bed against bad teams just the first two weeks. Gross.
Auburn. Jawja. Florida. Bammer. All handing biz against chumps.
Harvinz boys come out sluggish for the first 15 mins. Come out of the half on fire scoring 42 points in the next 1.5 quarters. Happy valley here we come.
Arkansas and ole miss have good coaches now. They scare me a little. They’re both confident and scrappy. Something they haven’t been in a long while. Florida is gonna be quietly solid while all the attention is on FUGA.
Kentucky and mizzou looked like retards in a pillow fight. Tennessee looked ok for a half. Which has been their MO against better teams the last 2-3 years.
As far as auburn goes - no one on our schedule really scares me but bammer. FUGA AS usual will get in our heads. They are super talented. Lsu is hot garbage. Not worried about them. So is MSU. AGGIE looks avg again. But the Rebs and Hogs are the two we need not overlook.
I saw a few highlights and pieces of games.
Notre Dame is in the top ten. They should be in the bottom ten. Overrated as usual.
LSU? They have the bodies. What I saw from them, though, is an inability to get any production out of the offensive line. The running game -- against McNeeds Technical State College -- was a non-factor. Only two rushes for longer than three yards the entire first half. Finished with 136 total rushing yards, half of that coming on three meaningless plays. The McNeeses were able to consistently get pressure on the LSU QB. That kind of shit won't play later in the season. Defense is okay, but routinely blows assignments. McNoose didn't have the offensive weapons to take advantage.
FSU? That was a program-defining loss. You don't give up a 60-yard scoring pass to Jax State on the final play.
Texas is still shitty, but Arkansas has gotten better.
A&M remains a dumpster fire.
I heard Dumbo Fisher talking about how A&M is "the kind of program that gets everybody's A-Game" in explaining their erectile dysfunction against a mediocre Colorado. Are they? Are they really?
As late as Thursday of last week, ESPN's expert staff had the Foghorns and Saggies slated for a showdown in the Sugar Bowl. They also had Notre Dame pegged for the Chick Fil A bowl. As bad as the Golden have looked, the only bowl they should be getting from Chick Fil A will have mac and cheese in it.
Does anybody even watch Alabama any more? I don't know why if they do. Numbingly boring.
AU looks more.... businesslike. Haven't faced any kind of challenge really, but the methodical approach and organization seems vastly different.
I also heard the ESPN (there are so many of them) crew go ahead and crown UA and UGA as co-champions. Nobody else close. Within minutes I also heard these same people debate whether LSU or A&M was the clear number two. So yeah, they don't know or see shit. Just go with whatever pre-conceived notion was floating around out there. Speaking of, during part of the LSU game I watched I was treated to the vocal ramblings of Charles "Buck" Arbuckle. As color commentator, he felt compelled to weigh in on every single play, usually still rambling about some off-base or off-topic shit well into the next play. It dawned on me listening to him babble that these clowns really don't know shit. They're just talking to fill the silence.
Case in point #1: On a McNeese fumble, Arbunkle went into a long-winded sermon about the defense "bringing them thunder hands (or some inane term I can't remember)" and how a running back just couldn't hold on to a ball when a player put them thunder hands in there on that ball. Replay? It was a bad exchange, kid dropped the ball before even being touched. Arblumple was so busy chuckling over the thunder hands he didn't even notice.
Case in point #2: LSU running play. Ardumpling effusively praised the center who just got his hands in there and turned the lineman to create a gap, back planted his foot and made that cut right into the hole. On replay, the center missed his guy and pushed him in the back toward the ball carrier, who made no cut whatsoever, but ran straight forward without regard for any hole or gap. In fact, the center very nearly blew up the play by shoving the lineman -- who had blown past him -- right into the lane.
So I started paying attention for a while to that and other games. It was shocking how often those blabbing idiots were either completely wrong about what they were yapping about or were layering ridiculous levels of hyperbole on the most mundane actions.
"Bliz Fludarpen had seen that look before so when Chez Mazurka rolled left, Fludarpen swiveled his hips and kept his eyes glued to Mazurka's facemask. That allowed him to maintain his position out there in no-man's land and get his hands in the air when Mazurka's wristband flashed in front of his ear hole. You know Mazurka wished he had that one back, because it just grazed Fludarpen's fingernails enough to change the trajectory. That caused the ball to land in the hands of Eluvium Quentarious-Jones who had his head on a swivel back there on an island against the Weaselpack's top receiver who'd run a pumper dumper 15 yards out when Mazurka was probably expecting a dig and cut at the ten yard mark."
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