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Scratching The Itch

wesfau2

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Scratching The Itch
« on: June 21, 2021, 02:59:59 PM »
No, I haven't traveled to Tijuana lately...why do you ask?

Was lounging around while Claudette emptied her WAP all over the Panhandle and got a jones to watch some AU football, so I threw on 2001 AU/UF.

I also have a personal story that goes along with this game.  First the football watching:

  • So much of the senior leadership of our 2004 team was on the field the night the unranked Tigers shocked the #2 Gators: Campbell, Brown, Williams, Torbor, Thomas, Dansby, Nowland, Rogers, Rosegreen, Hood, McIntyre, McNeil.
  • The Gators fielded a talented squad: Grossman, Earnest Graham (DNP), Jabar Gaffney, Reche Caldwell, Alex Brown, Marquand Manuel, Mike Nattiel
  • Our offense was awful early (and, to be fair, only modestly competent the rest of the way) and JCam got the hook for...#16 in your programs, #1 in your hearts...DANIEL FUCKING COBB!  I had forgotten he was a UGA transfer.
  • While Ronnie Brown and Carnell Williams got some PT (Caddy was productive late), it was the 1-2 punch of Casinius Moore and Chris Butler that paved the way for Cobb's occasional downfield pass.
  • Defense and Special Teams kept AU in the game.  With Graham sidelined and Gillespie less effective as a "mudder", the AU D just smothered UF.  Sexy Rexy got his, of course, but the totals were FAR off their season averages.
  • Duval famously hooked the game winner, but I forgot that he got to try that hook out on an earlier, 34 yarder.

So, here's my story:  My college roomate was newly back from being a dirty fucking hippie traveling the world and I was in my third year of law school.  He rings me up and says that a bunch of his older brother and sister's friends (both attended UF) would be throwing a huge tailgate and asked if I wanted to attend.  We're from a small town, so I know most of the folks that'll be there, and I agree to attend.  All day long the Gators are getting cockier and cockier.  Spurrier fucked your mom and Grossman will do the same to your little sister.  About an hour before game time folks start getting ready to head to the stadium.  We offer to stay behind, watch the tailgate and drink/eat our way through the tv broadcast.  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  YOU MUST SEE THIS TEAM OF DEMI GODS RAPE YOUR FIELD AND PILLAGE YOUR WOMEN!  Ok, free tix.  Cool.  Tix in the middle of the UF visitors section.  We had the best fucking time celebrating our W.  On the walk back to the tailgate, our benefactor approaches us and says, "Say, fellas, how bout $50 each for those tix?" HAHAAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
No.
They were such sour asses, they packed up their tailgate, cancelled the huge party we'd put together and drove back to FL that night.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2021, 10:27:24 AM »
I giggled.  Funny how perceptions change over the years.  Maybe reality does make the shift.  Many years ago, I looked forward to the AU/FUGA game as much as any other.  Loved their fans.  Always seemed to have similar dispositions as AU fans and the tailgates were always a blast.  LSU was the complete opposite.  Most obnoxious, belligerent fans I ever had the displeasure of being around.  It wasn't one or two incidents or bad apples.  It was every year across the board.

Completely flip the script. 

Casinius Moore and Chris Butler?  Wow, I like to think I follow me some AU footballz, but I barely remember those names at all. 

« Last Edit: June 22, 2021, 10:33:07 AM by Snaggletiger »
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2021, 11:52:27 AM »
I giggled.  Funny how perceptions change over the years.  Maybe reality does make the shift.  Many years ago, I looked forward to the AU/FUGA game as much as any other.  Loved their fans.  Always seemed to have similar dispositions as AU fans and the tailgates were always a blast.  LSU was the complete opposite.  Most obnoxious, belligerent fans I ever had the displeasure of being around.  It wasn't one or two incidents or bad apples.  It was every year across the board.

Completely flip the script. 

Casinius Moore and Chris Butler?  Wow, I like to think I follow me some AU footballz, but I barely remember those names at all.
Oppo for me.  For years, starting in the late 80s, my dad had a customer that was a UF grad that would come and sit with us every other year when the gators came to town.  He would bring his family and some friends that were possibly the cockiest group I have ever tailgated with.  Always dreaded that weekend just because of the tailgate more than anything else.  Best time I ever had was after the 93 game though...I've never seen a group of people leave a stadium and parking lot faster than that group.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2021, 06:26:20 PM »
Same experience in the swamp in 94, town shut down after Nix to Sanders.  We were planning on staying the night with my friend's sister who was in grad school at UF, and we walked into her apartment, asked what they were going to do, and she said the town would be dead, and added if we planned on spending the night, we might want to take the Auburn stickers off our car, or we wouldn't have a windshield when we woke up.  So we drove back to Auburn where the party was still going on.

Fuck them, and fuck Georgia.  I hope every year at the cocktail party that Jacksonville falls into the ocean.
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Ogre

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2021, 08:55:34 AM »
I was a Junior at Auburn for that '01 Florida game.  I still have a foggy (thanks to the whiskey) memory of the Duval kick going over my head as he kicked the winning field goal.  I also remember the goal post being torn down and passed up through the student section.  It was about to be chunked over the side of the stadium when the PA announcer came on and begged the student section not to do it because it would kill people.  Good times.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2021, 09:57:27 AM »
Same experience in the swamp in 94, town shut down after Nix to Sanders.  We were planning on staying the night with my friend's sister who was in grad school at UF, and we walked into her apartment, asked what they were going to do, and she said the town would be dead, and added if we planned on spending the night, we might want to take the Auburn stickers off our car, or we wouldn't have a windshield when we woke up.  So we drove back to Auburn where the party was still going on.

Fuck them, and fuck Georgia.  I hope every year at the cocktail party that Jacksonville falls into the ocean.
Fuck Georgia!
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2021, 10:10:35 AM »
I caught about 10 minutes of Finebaum on my way home from work yesterday.  Actually quite entertaining.  I heard two calls, the first of which was Legend.  He was ripping FUGA and their fans a new one, which is something I can always get on board with, even if it is coming from a mouth breather.  The second call was FUGA fan, trying to talk smack back at Legend.  His weak best, was calling him Legend of the trailer park.  He sounded desperate and literally said, one day we'll beat Bama.  

The last time I ever sort of, kind of, maybe just a little weeeee bit pulled for FUGA, was when Tonga Tuiasasopopoo pulled that game out dat ass.  Now, every time those two play, I want the Tahd to beat em' by 58.  Fuck Georgia! 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2021, 11:28:20 AM »
Now, every time those two play, I want the Tahd to beat em' by 58.  fudge Georgia!
I root for either a tsunami, earthquake, or meteor.  And that's just for the fans.  For the coaches, I root for the goat aids.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2021, 11:47:46 AM »
I root for either a tsunami, earthquake, or meteor.  And that's just for the fans.  For the coaches, I root for the goat aids.
I like it.  I like it a lot.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2021, 11:58:56 AM »
I root for either a tsunami, earthquake, or meteor.  And that's just for the fans.  For the coaches, I root for the goat aids.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

GH2001

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2021, 02:28:25 PM »
I giggled.  Funny how perceptions change over the years.  Maybe reality does make the shift.  Many years ago, I looked forward to the AU/FUGA game as much as any other.  Loved their fans.  Always seemed to have similar dispositions as AU fans and the tailgates were always a blast.  LSU was the complete opposite.  Most obnoxious, belligerent fans I ever had the displeasure of being around.  It wasn't one or two incidents or bad apples.  It was every year across the board.

Completely flip the script. 

Casinius Moore and Chris Butler?  Wow, I like to think I follow me some AU footballz, but I barely remember those names at all.
well maybe if you weren't drunk on Landsharks talking shit to them every damn time, thinking they wanted to see your bare ass for no good reason really - they'd perhaps be a little nicer to you. I tell you this every time - Snags, they don't want to fight and they don't want to see your butt. Why is this so difficult?
« Last Edit: June 23, 2021, 03:47:18 PM by GH2001 »
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WDE

Snaggletiger

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2021, 02:57:16 PM »
well maybe if you weren't drunk on Landsharks talking shit to them every damn time, thinking they wanted to see your bare ass for no good reason really - they'd perhaps be a little nicer to you. I tell you this every time - Snags, they don't to fight and they don't want to see your butt. Why is this so difficult?
I thought that's what tailgating is all about.  Drinking, fighting, mooning.....oh, and don't forget hand jobs.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2021, 03:47:52 PM »
I thought that's what tailgating is all about.  Drinking, fighting, mooning.....oh, and don't forget hand jobs.
I mean, they called you a prostitute but I don't recall them paying you. 
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WDE

wesfau2

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2021, 04:04:37 PM »
I thought that's what tailgating is all about.  Drinking, fighting, mooning.....oh, and don't forget hand jobs.
High-powered exec type retires to the country.

He's at the end of his driveway checking the mail when his nearest neighbor pulls up and says, "Howdy, neighbor!  I'd like to invite ya to a party at my place tonight!"

Exec says, "Great!  I'll be there."  Neighbor says, "Now, I gotta warn ya: there's gonna be some drinkin and druggin goin on."  

Exec says, "That's no big deal, I'm the king of the three-martini lunch."  Neighbor says, "Well, I should also warn ya: there's probably gonna be some fightin' goin on."

Exec says, "No worries, I get along with everyone."  Neighbor says, "Good, but I should also warn ya: there's gonna be some fuckin goin on."

Exec says, "Whatever constitutes a good time for my neighbors, I'm cool with.  What should I wear?"

Neighbor says, "Doesn't matter.  Just gonna be you and me."
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #14 on: June 23, 2021, 04:31:11 PM »
High-powered exec type retires to the country.

He's at the end of his driveway checking the mail when his nearest neighbor pulls up and says, "Howdy, neighbor!  I'd like to invite ya to a party at my place tonight!"

Exec says, "Great!  I'll be there."  Neighbor says, "Now, I gotta warn ya: there's gonna be some drinkin and druggin goin on." 

Exec says, "That's no big deal, I'm the king of the three-martini lunch."  Neighbor says, "Well, I should also warn ya: there's probably gonna be some fightin' goin on."

Exec says, "No worries, I get along with everyone."  Neighbor says, "Good, but I should also warn ya: there's gonna be some fuckin goin on."

Exec says, "Whatever constitutes a good time for my neighbors, I'm cool with.  What should I wear?"

Neighbor says, "Doesn't matter.  Just gonna be you and me."
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #15 on: June 23, 2021, 05:14:35 PM »
73 Days until College Foosballz kicks it off.


Bitches
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #16 on: June 24, 2021, 09:07:24 AM »
 Days now.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #17 on: June 24, 2021, 12:37:42 PM »
High-powered exec type retires to the country.

He's at the end of his driveway checking the mail when his nearest neighbor pulls up and says, "Howdy, neighbor!  I'd like to invite ya to a party at my place tonight!"

Exec says, "Great!  I'll be there."  Neighbor says, "Now, I gotta warn ya: there's gonna be some drinkin and druggin goin on." 

Exec says, "That's no big deal, I'm the king of the three-martini lunch."  Neighbor says, "Well, I should also warn ya: there's probably gonna be some fightin' goin on."

Exec says, "No worries, I get along with everyone."  Neighbor says, "Good, but I should also warn ya: there's gonna be some fuckin goin on."

Exec says, "Whatever constitutes a good time for my neighbors, I'm cool with.  What should I wear?"

Neighbor says, "Doesn't matter.  Just gonna be you and me."
Interesting. How well do you know this guy?
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CCTAU

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #18 on: June 25, 2021, 04:29:31 PM »
I thought that's what tailgating is all about.  Drinking, fighting, mooning.....oh, and don't forget hand jobs.
Just to be clear, I was only being neighborly when I shared my sausage. Nothing else went down on that day!
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Buzz Killington

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Re: Scratching The Itch
« Reply #19 on: June 27, 2021, 10:54:56 AM »
Just to be clear, I was only being neighborly when I shared my sausage. Nothing else went down on that day!
Just be glad Snaggs wasn't filming for commercials that day
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.