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Me And The Peppers

Snaggletiger

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Me And The Peppers
« on: August 11, 2020, 11:59:59 AM »
Saturday, we made the trek up to God's country for a graduation party for my niece.  We stopped in Eufaula at the Donut King for a sack of Crack Wads.  If you want to know why crack is so addicting, pick you up of few of their donut holes and prepare for your life to change.  Anyway, we had to park in a lot behind the building and let's just say, the neighborhood in that area this is not a gated community with a club house, pool etc.  As soon as we pulled up, two Thuggy McThugs, with pants half way down that ass crack, walked in the parking lot and started walking towards our truck.  Since I was certain they weren't looking for donations to help United Way, I opened the console and put my hand on my .38.  They hollered a few choice niceties, but kept walking.

There was no way to conceal the pistol as we went for our Crack Wads, so I opted for a tiny can of pepper spray I had purchased a few months back.  I bought based on the memory of numerous videos I had watched on road ragers getting owned when they approached another car with bad intent, only to be greeted with a stream of evil to the face.  Take that witcha'.  Now have a nice day. 

When we got back home, I threw some steaks on the grill and while cooking, realized I still had the pepper spray in my pocket.  I also realized, I didn't know if this thing actually worked, so I aimed it at a tree and fired off a squirt.  There was no wind so I wasn't worried about any blow back.  I thought, "Okay, I guess this tiny little can does actually HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF HELL!!!!"

Snagette is on the back porch and asking repeatedly what was wrong.  I couldn't stop coughing.  My throat was burning and my nose and eyes felt like someone doused me with a bottle of Texas Pete. Obviously, there was a little blow back and all I could think of was that I was only exposed to a few particles of the stuff.  If someone sprayed me in the face with that, I'd find the first 18-wheeler passing by and jump right out in front of it.  I don't think I could actually do that to a road rager.       
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Kaos

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Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2020, 01:02:39 PM »
Saturday, we made the trek up to God's country for a graduation party for my niece.  We stopped in Eufaula at the Donut King for a sack of Crack Wads.  If you want to know why crack is so addicting, pick you up of few of their donut holes and prepare for your life to change.  Anyway, we had to park in a lot behind the building and let's just say, the neighborhood in that area this is not a gated community with a club house, pool etc.  As soon as we pulled up, two Thuggy McThugs, with pants half way down that ass crack, walked in the parking lot and started walking towards our truck.  Since I was certain they weren't looking for donations to help United Way, I opened the console and put my hand on my .38.  They hollered a few choice niceties, but kept walking.

There was no way to conceal the pistol as we went for our Crack Wads, so I opted for a tiny can of pepper spray I had purchased a few months back.  I bought based on the memory of numerous videos I had watched on road ragers getting owned when they approached another car with bad intent, only to be greeted with a stream of evil to the face.  Take that witcha'.  Now have a nice day.

When we got back home, I threw some steaks on the grill and while cooking, realized I still had the pepper spray in my pocket.  I also realized, I didn't know if this thing actually worked, so I aimed it at a tree and fired off a squirt.  There was no wind so I wasn't worried about any blow back.  I thought, "Okay, I guess this tiny little can does actually HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF HELL!!!!"

Snagette is on the back porch and asking repeatedly what was wrong.  I couldn't stop coughing.  My throat was burning and my nose and eyes felt like someone doused me with a bottle of Texas Pete. Obviously, there was a little blow back and all I could think of was that I was only exposed to a few particles of the stuff.  If someone sprayed me in the face with that, I'd find the first 18-wheeler passing by and jump right out in front of it.  I don't think I could actually do that to a road rager.     
Don't be ridiculous, dude.  

I checked with Fauci.  What you encountered was a few stray particles of Covid penetrating the pepper spray haze and attacking your defenses.  Wear a mask when you're grilling.   Or die.  
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2020, 02:20:42 PM »
Don't be ridiculous, dude. 

I checked with Fauci.  What you encountered was a few stray particles of Covid penetrating the pepper spray haze and attacking your defenses.  Wear a mask when you're grilling.  Or die. 
That Covid's some bad shit.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2020, 02:27:24 PM »
Don't be ridiculous, dude. 

I checked with Fauci.  What you encountered was a few stray particles of Covid penetrating the pepper spray haze and attacking your defenses.  Wear a mask when you're grilling.  Or die. 
RIP Snaggs
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2020, 08:55:17 PM »
I’ll bet you if Paul Harvey were  still alive we’d get to hear about some black dick getting sucked in that parking lot behind the Donut King.
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Saniflush

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Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2020, 08:01:05 AM »
I’ll bet you if Paul Harvey were  still alive we’d get to hear about some black dick getting sucked in that parking lot behind the Donut King.
"Now you know....the rest of the story".

Maybe Mike Rowe will have it as an episode of "The Way I heard It".  Which if you do the podcast thing is a good one to listen to.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2020, 11:10:48 AM »
"Now you know....the rest of the story".

Maybe Mike Rowe will have it as an episode of "The Way I heard It".  Which if you do the podcast thing is a good one to listen to.
It may be an even better fit for “Dirty Jobs” but I think it’s out of syndication.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2020, 11:39:18 AM »
There were no dicks sucked in that parking lot.  Some heavy petting...a quick hand job, maybe.  But no dick was sucked.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2020, 02:45:33 PM »
There were no dicks sucked in that parking lot.  Some heavy petting...a quick hand job, maybe.  But no dick was sucked.
Maybe not. But I know damn well they at least stuck it up your butt after they took the pepper spray and pistol away.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2020, 03:00:57 PM »
Maybe not. But I know damn well they at least stuck it up your butt after they took the pepper spray and pistol away.
They used protection so it doesn't count.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Louisa

Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2020, 08:52:46 PM »
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Kaos

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Re: Me And The Peppers
« Reply #11 on: August 23, 2020, 02:55:10 PM »
Louisa really knows how to fuck up a thread. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.