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Following Squeaky J

Kaos

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Following Squeaky J
« on: March 22, 2019, 10:20:22 PM »
Top Ten list of possibilities for the (apparently) vacant Alabama basketball job: 

1) Mike Wazowski  - Bama fans are not aware that the one-eyed green monster from Monsters Inc. is not, in fact, the current coach of the Duke Blue Devils.  But they are certain that Wazowski would crawl (or roll in this case) on broken glass to have a shot at coaching games in the asbestos capital of the SEC, Coleman Coliseum.  

2) Adolph Rupp - He may be dead, but he'd come back from that just to stand on the same campus that was once home to Ba'r Brunt.  

3) Dean Smith - Also dead.  See Adolph Rupp. 

4) Ba'r Brunt -   Also dead, but would return to cement his legacy as the GOAT now that Saban has eclipsed his crusty ass in football. 

5) Bill Parcells - He and Bobby Bowden have crawled over broken glass at least a dozen times for the opportunity to coach in Turdscaloosa.  This is his chance. 

6) Roy Williams - He is bored winning titles at UNC and would have a much better chance to build his legacy in front of tens of dozens of fans in Coleman. 

7) Rick Pitino - He's dirty as a pig in a mudhole. Would fit perfectly in the cesspool outside Vance. 

8) Phil Jackson - He's coached some of the best ever.  But he's never coached hairdos like those sported in the mushroom capital of the state.  How could he resist?

9) Greg Popovich - He and Saban would get along well.  They both have the same sunny demeanor and love dealing with the press. He's a natural fit. He would belly crawl over crushed seashells for the chance to work alongside his demeanor doppelganger. 

10)  Geno  - Bama fans can't pronounce his last name and won't try.  But he has a way with women and most of the Tide roster look like ugly girls with mops on their heads. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2019, 10:31:03 AM »
Pfffft....no way Rupp takes that job.  
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2019, 09:30:28 AM »
I heard they are going after Norman Dale.  The picket fence is back, baby!
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

GH2001

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2019, 10:28:11 AM »
Rick pitino is who is seriously being mentioned now. 
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The Six

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2019, 11:05:28 AM »
Rick pitino is who is seriously being mentioned now.
Fits their motif. 
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

Kaos

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2019, 11:06:54 AM »
Rick pitino is who is seriously being mentioned now.
I put that as a joke.  

Do they really have that much power over the NCAA?
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Buzz Killington

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2019, 11:26:01 AM »
Rick pitino is who is seriously being mentioned now.
That seriously would not surprise me one iota.  Or Richard Pitino with him tagging along.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Godfather

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2019, 11:53:07 AM »
courtesy of Kaos's favorite al.com


Quote
Byrne should reach out to Rick Pitino when he starts contacting potential candidates. It’s at least worth a phone call or lunch at the Final Four.
People will overreact to that idea, of course, and fake outrage on Twitter because that’s what we do now, but Pitino is, arguably, one of the three greatest college basketball coaches alive, and he’s currently not coaching college basketball.
Is Pitino unhirable for Alabama? Probably so, and for more reasons than one, but he wasn’t arrested by the FBI after its investigation into college basketball corruption, and there currently isn’t a show cause against Pitino by the NCAA. Maybe one is coming, but Pitino has vehemently maintained his innocence.
Pitino was fired by Louisville in the wake of the bombshell case that linked bribes by Adidas to Louisville basketball recruits, but a member of the Alabama basketball team was linked to that investigation and Avery Johnson wasn’t fired. Auburn assistant coach Chuck Person just pled guilty in federal court, but Bruce Pearl wasn’t fired.
It’s a low bar in college basketball, is all I’m saying, and if you can win a national championship the bar doesn’t really exist at all.
Auburn hired Pearl while Pearl was still under a show cause. The gamble paid off for Auburn, and the Tigers are now selling out Auburn Arena and winning championships. Sampson, a rumored early candidate for Alabama, was out of the game for five years under a show cause.
Byrne and his search committee should ask themselves this simple question when they begin interviewing candidates: can this coach win a national championship at Alabama? That’s a short list, but Pitino is on it.
Would SEC commissioner Greg Sankey prevent Alabama from hiring Pitino? Not likely. Pitino would be an enormous draw for the conference. Would the NCAA slap a show cause on Pitino if he tried to return to college coaching? For Bryne, it might be worth finding out.
If you care to read the rest of the drivel.  https://www.al.com/alabamabasketball/2019/03/there-are-logical-coaching-choices-for-alabama-and-then-theres-rick-pitino.html
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djsimp

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2019, 12:09:46 PM »
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CCTAU

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2019, 01:10:18 PM »
Hey Paul. Aubren did it and theys winning now. Why cain't we do it too? We's better'an'em.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Buzz Killington

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2019, 02:08:42 PM »
Samson wouldn't touch that place with a 10 foot pole...neither would his flowing locks.  
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

CCTAU

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2019, 03:25:45 PM »
Samson wouldn't touch that place with a 10 foot pole...neither would his flowing locks. 
You never know. I hear there are a lot of loose Delilahs in that town. Just ask Joey.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

GH2001

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2019, 10:04:17 PM »
That seriously would not surprise me one iota.  Or Richard Pitino with him tagging along.
Seriously?
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2019, 09:23:29 AM »
Seriously?
Seriously.  Literally even.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

GH2001

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #14 on: March 26, 2019, 09:56:58 AM »
Seriously.  Literally even.
So you’re essentially saying that it isn’t virtually happening. 
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #15 on: March 26, 2019, 10:11:53 AM »
So you’re essentially saying that it isn’t virtually happening.
You're virtually taking everything too literally.  That's basically the essence of the reality.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2019, 10:24:29 AM »
You're virtually taking everything too literally.  That's basically the essence of the reality.
Irregrardless, it's all rumor and in your window at this point.  Seriously.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #17 on: March 26, 2019, 10:31:53 AM »
Irregrardless, it's all rumor and in your window at this point.  Seriously.
In your end....ooooohhhhh
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

djsimp

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #18 on: March 26, 2019, 11:08:01 AM »
In your end....ooooohhhhh
Who's in your end?
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Following Squeaky J
« Reply #19 on: March 26, 2019, 11:51:13 AM »
Who's in your end?
Oh no, homey don't play that way.


Unless tequila's involved.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."