So night before last, my phone goes full retard. Didn't do a thing to it other than pick it up to set my alarm before I hit the sack. Boom, back to factory settings. Everything gone. Not synced up to the office email. Contacts went poof, pics for the last 4 years (Even the nekkid ones) everything gone. Getting my contacts and email back will be no problem. Hate that I lost all my pics, especially those of WT in those handcuffs. Wait...what?
And no, my dumbass didn't back anything up to some stinking cloud. It's just gone. So I go in Verizon prepared to upgrade, which was long overdue anyway. I tell people I have a Samsung S5 and they laugh as if I have a flip phone with an antenna. They verify that all my shit is gone and show me the latest S9 with all the bells and whistles. Okay cool, I'll take it. Pick out a protective cover. Decline all the promotional stuff they try to sell me.
The girl is typing away and talking to herself. BTW, the phone is mine but we pay for the bill through our business. The girl mumbles something about verifying credit and I say:
Oh, don't worry about that. I'm going to pay for it all today.
You're going to pay it all today? Well, I have to tell you that will void the warranty you get.
You mean if I pay for this phone, I get no warranty?
That's right.
Well, that doesn't sound right. How much is a warranty?
We don't sell warranties. You'll have to go through someone else.
Like who?
I'm not sure.
So, if I buy this phone today, take it home and it never comes on, it's just my worthless, little $800.00 device?
Yeah.
Well, that sucks but I've got to do something. I'll take my chances. Go ahead and write it up. I'll pay for it today.
Verizon won't let you pay for it all today.
What do you mean?
They won't let us sell them retail. You have to put it on payments.
What? You're telling me I can't pay you for this phone today. You won't sell it unless I set up payments. (The other two girls in the store come over) Can any of you explain why?
One girl shrugs her shoulders. The other says, I guess Verizon doesn't make any money selling them retail.
But you just said if I pay for it all, it will void my warranty.
That's right.
Well, I want to pay for it and take my chances.
They won't let us.
So, I can pay for it all and get the phone without a warranty, but I can't pay for the phone?
That's right.
Did I just walk into some alternate universe?
Shrugs and impish grins all around. Snags picks up his wack ass S5 and walks out.