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Face Palm

Snaggletiger

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Face Palm
« on: January 13, 2022, 12:16:00 PM »
This comes directly from the Kaos Book of Whoa.  A lady comes to us after being hit and knocked off the road by a guy driving an Enterprise Rent A Car.  We just had an employee leave us, so we’re short-handed. The driver of the other car never responded to us, so I’m trying to track down a claim with Enterprise.  I start with the local office.

  Sir, you’ll have to call this number right here.  Gives me the number

Thank you, dials number.

Theenk you forda cohlling, Eentedaprise. Keen I heps you?

I explain that I’m trying to track down a claim for this accident.

Oh you mest cohl dee cleems depadament.  Let me geeve you the numada. 

It takes 3 times repeating to understand the correct number. Dials number.

( in Spanish accent)  Emergency road service.  Where are you broken down?

Holy shit.  I’m not broken down.  I’m an attorney trying to track down a claim on a wreck.

This is the emergency road side service.  You’ll have to call this number.

3 more times to understand the correct number.  I dial it.

Damage department, can I help you?

I have no idea what this accent was.  Suffice it to say, everything had to be repeated.  I explain again the reason for my call.

Oh no, you will have to call this number.  They can help you.

Good morning.  Law enforcement division.

Law enforcement?  WTF?  Yes, I’m an attorney for….

Attorney?  You’re not in law enforcement?

No, I’m just trying to track down a claim for a wreck involving an Enterprise Rent A Car. I’ve explained my situation 3 or 4 times already and they sent me to you. 

Let me give you this number to report a claim.

I call the number and the lady says I’ll have to report the claim via this email address….

No shit, I was given 6 different numbers and an email address to simply report, or try to find a claim. The local office couldn’t handle that task.  Neither could the next person, or the next person, or the next person or the next….And it wasn’t until the last person, who gave me the email, that I talked to somebody who didn’t have a foreign, virtually unintelligible accent.  The email has been sent.  I can’t wait to see the response, or lack thereof.       
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Thou May Ingest A Satchel Of Richards

The Six

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Re: Face Palm
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2022, 09:40:23 AM »
Serious question, how do you even bill that out - all that time spent going in circles?
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

Snaggletiger

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Re: Face Palm
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2022, 09:42:19 AM »
Serious question, how do you even bill that out - all that time spent going in circles?

Unfortunately, I don't bill hourly.  We work on a contingent fee basis.  The only way we get paid is to get the client's case settled.  So yeah, there's a butt load of going in circles to get there.
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Thou May Ingest A Satchel Of Richards

wesfau2

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Re: Face Palm
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2022, 09:55:37 AM »
Unfortunately, I don't bill hourly. 

Drop the "un".  Hourly billing is the worst part of the traditional practice of law.  It's bad for the lawyer, it's bad for the client.  It fucking sucks.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Face Palm
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2022, 11:27:19 AM »
Drop the "un".  Hourly billing is the worst part of the traditional practice of law.  It's bad for the lawyer, it's bad for the client.  It fucking sucks.

I want to do both.
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Thou May Ingest A Satchel Of Richards

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Face Palm
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2022, 12:47:40 PM »
I want to do both.
I can vouch that he loves the suck part.
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Kaos

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Re: Face Palm
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2022, 12:49:10 PM »
I want to do both.

Last time I said that I got slapped.
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Buzz Killington

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Re: Face Palm
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2022, 12:54:58 PM »
I want to do both.
Isn't that just like you lawyers!?!?!?!?  Charge me a huge fee up front then hit me with hourly charges too. 
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Face Palm
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2022, 01:19:34 PM »
Isn't that just like you lawyers!?!?!?!?  Charge me a huge fee up front then hit me with hourly charges too.
he has never charged me for the sucking.
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