Do you have any idea how hard it is to gum this stuff?

[Buzz Killington]

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2018/02/alabama_man_accused_of_beating.html

Alabama man accused of beating his roommate over stale cereal
Updated Feb 8, 8:01 PM; Posted Feb 8, 7:18 PM
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By Anna Beahm abeahm@al.com

An Alabama man was charged with domestic violence last week after he allegedly beat his roommate with an electrical cord after discovering the victim did not properly seal a box of Cap'n Crunch cereal, according to The Smoking Gun.

Duane Barry Smith, 52, was jailed on domestic violence charges Friday, police told The Smoking Gun.

Smith was especially upset about the stale cereal because he is missing teeth and has trouble eating stale cereal, police said. Smith reportedly told his roommate to take out his dentures so he could see how difficult it is to eat the stale cereal, police said.

When the victim refused, police said Smith began beating him with an electrical cord.

The victim and suspect shared a home in Moundville.

The Smoking Gun reported officials at the Hale County Jail declined to say if Smith was in custody or had bonded out of jail.

[Snaggletiger]

Now let's be fair here.  It was actually Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries.  Everybody knows the Crunch Berries are first to go when not sealed properly.  And Cap'n Crunch without the Crunch Berries is just....well...Cap'n Crunch.  And if he wanted Cap'n Crunch, he woulda' bought Cap'n Crunch.

I'da beat his ass with multiple kitchen utensils.