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2017 haiku

Kaos

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2017 haiku
« on: September 14, 2017, 12:22:54 PM »
Season starts with hope
Offensive failure sinks us
Gus has lied again


Stidham for Heisman
Who is calling these damn plays?
Sorry Jeremy
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2017, 12:24:58 PM »
Suck suck suck suck suck
Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck
Suck suck suck suck suck
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dallaswareagle

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2017, 12:47:18 PM »
Suck suck suck suck suck
Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck
Suck suck suck suck suck
Large buy out paid.

 :bs:
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Ogre

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2017, 01:12:35 PM »
Malzahn or Jacobs,
Who will be the first to go?
Either way, we suck.
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Pell City Tiger

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2017, 06:12:31 PM »
Two yards up the gut
Fifty yard pass incomplete
This is our playbook
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

GH2001

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2017, 08:41:36 PM »
Fuck coach Gus malzahn
Fuck Gus malzahn in the ass
Fuck coach Gus again
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WDE

Pell City Tiger

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2017, 09:02:24 PM »
Offense shits the bed
Six months of practice wasted
Bring back Gene Chizik
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Snaggletiger

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2017, 10:36:21 PM »
Chip will run his offense
Chip will call the plays
Chip will go to the booth
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Kaos

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2017, 11:40:49 PM »
All I do is win
Win win win no matter what
Maybe fucking not
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

War Eagle!!!

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2017, 08:26:38 AM »
Chip will run his offense
Chip will call the plays
Chip will go to the booth

Dude...a haiku has one rule.

One. Fucking. Rule.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2017, 08:29:18 AM »
I will call the plays
I will let my OC call
No, I will call them
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Godfather

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #11 on: September 15, 2017, 08:56:35 AM »
Dude...a haiku has one rule.

One. Fucking. Rule.
Talk to Emma
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Gus is gone, hooray!
                       -Auburn Fans


Auburn Forum

Snaggletiger

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2017, 09:25:44 AM »
Dude...a haiku has one rule.

One. Fucking. Rule.

"Haiku" is a traditional form of Japanese poetry. 1.) Haiku poems consist of 3 lines. 2.) The first and last lines of a Haiku have 5 syllables 3.) and the middle line has 7 syllables. The lines rarely rhyme."

Oh nay nay.  It has three. fucking. rules.  And that's 2 too many for me to remember. 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2017, 09:42:23 AM »
"Haiku" is a traditional form of Japanese poetry. 1.) Haiku poems consist of 3 lines. 2.) The first and last lines of a Haiku have 5 syllables 3.) and the middle line has 7 syllables. The lines rarely rhyme."

Oh nay nay.  It has three. fucking. rules.  And that's 2 too many for me to remember.

Snags said fuck it and pulled a 7-5-6 on us.

Rebel. I'm telling Judy. And Emma.
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WDE

Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2017, 09:50:37 AM »
Snags said fudge it and pulled a 7-5-6 on us.

Rebel. I'm telling Judy. And Emma.

He should spend that 35 bucks on poem writing lessons.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #15 on: September 15, 2017, 09:56:34 AM »
He should spend that 35 bucks on poem writing lessons.

I will squeeze your left trapezius muscle VERY hard.  Do you know how bad that hurts when someone really digs their fingers under the trap?  I brought Evan Figglemeister to his knees in the 6th grade and I didn't even have to squeeze that hard.  You just think about that for a while.

Let that be a warning to the rest of you too.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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  • I'm a Miller guy. Always been. Since I was like, 8
Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #16 on: September 15, 2017, 10:04:36 AM »
I will squeeze your left trapezius muscle VERY hard.  Do you know how bad that hurts when someone really digs their fingers under the trap?  I brought Evan Figglemeister to his knees in the 6th grade and I didn't even have to squeeze that hard.  You just think about that for a while.

Let that be a warning to the rest of you too.

Trap squeezing has replaced cutting a bitch. Times they are a changin.
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WDE

Snaggletiger

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #17 on: September 15, 2017, 10:24:29 AM »
Trap squeezing has replaced cutting a bitch. Times they are a changin.

I've become well-versed in pressure points. Just as effective and much less blood. 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2017, 11:07:19 AM »
Nuts?  I do not own.
God damn it, I really care
Cut a bitch, I shall
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Kaos

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Re: 2017 haiku
« Reply #19 on: September 15, 2017, 11:13:09 AM »
It will get better
This is what Gus promises
Do not believe him
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.