Cluck Cluck Murder

[The Six]

Alabama teen goes on chicken massacre when mother didn't fix his relationship, deputies say

Limestone County sheriff's deputies say a domestic incident in Elkmont ended with several dead chickens and a young man in jail.

The charges are against 18-year-old Haden Smith. Deputies say Smith's mother called them after he sent her threatening texts and killed her chickens. Deputies say Smith texted her Thursday morning saying he would kill a chicken every fifteen minutes unless she contacted his girlfriend's parents and mended his relationship with his girlfriend.

He gave her a deadline of noon until the chicken massacre started, deputies say. He also threatened to burn her house down, kill any responding deputies and kill himself, according to the sheriff's office.

Smith killed six chickens before he was arrested. He texted his mother photos of a dead chicken every fifteen minutes, deputies say.

Smith was arrested and charged with third-degree domestic violence and third-degree criminal mischief.

[/http://www.al.com/news/huntsville/index.ssf/2015/06/alabama_teen_goes_on_chicken_m.html

[DnATL]

Obviously a teenager, if he was able to choke the chicken every fifteen minutes repeatedly

[oldautiger]

I bet he had a Confederate flag in his garage too.

[Jumbo]

The fastest chicken in the south.

[Godfather]

[Snaggletiger]

A man is driving down a country road and sees something coming up fast behind him.  As the object zips by his car, he can't believe his eyes.  That looked like a 3-legged chicken running 90 m.p.h.  The chicken turns in a driveway up ahead and disappears.  Curious, the man stops at the house and knocks on the door.

A farmer answers and the man asks, "I know this is going to sound crazy, but I'm sure I just saw a 3-legged chicken run up your driveway."

The farmer says, "Yep, we raise em'.  I had a thought a few years ago that since it's just me and the wife and our boy living here....and we all just love drumsticks...well, we could all get a drumstick from one chicken.  I started cross-breeding and messing with genetics and all that and it eventually worked."

That's amazing.  I can't believe it worked.  By the way, how do they taste?

Don't rightly know.  We ain't never caught one.

[Godfather]

A man is driving down a country road and sees something coming up fast behind him.  As the object zips by his car, he can't believe his eyes.  That looked like a 3-legged chicken running 90 m.p.h.  The chicken turns in a driveway up ahead and disappears.  Curious, the man stops at the house and knocks on the door.

A farmer answers and the man asks, "I know this is going to sound crazy, but I'm sure I just saw a 3-legged chicken run up your driveway."

The farmer says, "Yep, we raise em'.  I had a thought a few years ago that since it's just me and the wife and our boy living here....and we all just love drumsticks...well, we could all get a drumstick from one chicken.  I started cross-breeding and messing with genetics and all that and it eventually worked."

That's amazing.  I can't believe it worked.  By the way, how do they taste?

Don't rightly know.  We ain't never caught one.

We have a thread for this...I think you just won.

[JR4AU]

Shouldn't the Colonel be banned for numerous reasons?

[Buzz Killington]

Chicken in a bucket
Chicken in the beans