Sent to me in an E-mail. Looks pretty accurate.
The Four Classes of UAT Fans
Gumps- Those UAT fans who just don't know any better and simply do as they are told by their Daddy/Uncle, Mother/Aunt. They, much like the main character in the movie they take their moniker from, are too dumb to realize that they have a choice. These people must be excused as it is not their fault. Gumps are obnoxious but mostly harmless.
Bammers- These UAT fans are a little smarter than the Gumps but not by much. They couldn't find Tuscaloosa on a map, and most likely haven't seen any part of the campus but Jordan-Hare West. Bammers represent most of the 85% and are extremely insufferable, especially when UAT is winning. These fans melt into the woodwork when the Tahd is on a losing streak, but love to call in and talk to Pawwwl when UAT is dominating.
Turds- UAT fans who actually graduated from the school, aka the 15%. Some of them belong to the REC, some don't, but they are all unbearably arrogant. These fans think their feces have no odor; this is mainly because they already smell as badly as they possibly can, and so their olfactory senses cannot detect the aroma of eau de toilet. They look down on Auburn as"that cow college"; and "little brother." This section of the fan base helps to fund the pool of company Chargers that are driven by the majority of their professional football team.
Updykes- This section of the UAT fan base is bat-sh*t crazy. These people live in rusted out 1936 model Airstreams in the middle of the boondocks. They have a satellite dish attached to the roof so they are sure not to miss a second of UAT football. When the delusion of UAT superiority over Auburn or any other school is broken this type of fan will become unhinged. The poisoning of trees and the tea-bagging of opposing fans is usually the result of an Updyke being brought back to reality.
8 Replies
907 Views