Ten questions to ponder:
1) Can the derps who bought "15" shirts and hats get refunds or at least be provided duct tape to make alterations?
2) Will Miss Alabama be forced to vacate that hideous dress?
3) What greenery will suffer at the hands of an Updyke over this?
4) What time will the fire department be called to Sticks N Stuff?
5) When's the next flight from Birmingham to Austin?
6) What sort of tattoo is Reuben Foster going to get now?
7) Does Carleton Tinker feel a little bit better about tripping?
8) Do the message board savants who predicted a title would be stripped from a team in this state feel vindicated?
9) How long before Chopper is a witness for the prosecution? He's got HotWheelz pics.
10) How does that woolly shoe feel when it's stuffed with tuna and shoved down your plainly burnt throat?