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Joke of the Day

GH2001

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  • I'm a Miller guy. Always been. Since I was like, 8
Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #40 on: April 04, 2012, 09:10:13 AM »
Wow, tough crowd around here...

Its not personal man.

We just can't have the X getting a good reputation for being clean. Surely you understand. Right now, its full of cursing, nekid pictures, booze, guns and a bunch of degenerates - and should stay that way.
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WDE

Pell City Tiger

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #41 on: April 04, 2012, 10:32:03 PM »
Can we do any black kid getting shot while eating skittles by Mexican looking, sort of white guy jokes?
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

djsimp

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #42 on: May 03, 2012, 09:00:50 AM »
“Two women were sitting, quietly together, minding their own business.”
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #43 on: May 03, 2012, 09:10:15 AM »
“Two women were sitting, quietly together, minding their own business.”

Best.  One.  Yet.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

GH2001

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  • I'm a Miller guy. Always been. Since I was like, 8
Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #44 on: May 03, 2012, 09:32:08 AM »
“Two women were sitting, quietly together, minding their own business.”

Talk about funny!!
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WDE

djsimp

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #45 on: May 09, 2012, 03:19:18 PM »
A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something.
"Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?"
"Yes, officer... I know I was speeding -- but it is a matter of life or death."
"Oh, really? How's that?"
"There's a naked woman waiting for me at home."
"I don't see how that is a matter of life or death."
"If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man."
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djsimp

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #46 on: May 09, 2012, 03:24:33 PM »
A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great... some asshole's got my pen."
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djsimp

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #47 on: August 06, 2012, 09:14:52 AM »
Sunday Morning Sex

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling. Upon hearing
that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to
her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort
her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He
had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old
having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced
age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would
start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even.
Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the
ice cream truck hadn't come along."
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