Yes, yes you are. Yes, yes they are.
After two weeks of exercising, here are my stats for each set:
Bench Press - 115 pounds, 6 reps
Lat Pull Downs - 80 pounds, 8 reps
Rows - 70 pounds, 8 reps
Squats - Nonexistent, I can't squat all the way down
Leg Press - 180 pounds (two 45s on each side), 6 reps
Deadlift - 185 pounds, 6 reps
Overhead shoulder press - 75 pounds, 8 reps
Dips - 5-6 dips
Sit ups - 15 before I have to stop
Running - 1.1 miles with a gradual hill for about half a mile and then a steep decline for maybe 1/10 of a mile
Swimming - 3 total laps per 10-15 minutes. I usually have to stop halfway to breathe for a few seconds.
Embarrassing.