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Kaos' way behind movie reviews

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3460 on: February 17, 2024, 11:07:46 AM »
Spinning Gold

This story meant something to me.  I already knew a lot of it and was interested in seeing it played out on-screen. It's the story of 'go-for-broke' record executive Neil Bogart.

Bogart created Casablanca Records. On the advice of Bill Aucoin and perhaps due to his infatuation with Aucoin's business partner Joyce, he signed KISS, the first band on his new label. Not only did he sign the band, he stuck with them through three albums that sold poorly, stuck with them to the point of near bankruptcy, and then changed the world with a last-ditch desperation hail mary -- Alive! 

Bogart and Casablanca also brought us Donna Summer, George Clinton/Parliament, and the Village People. Before Casablanca he helmed Buddha Records and developed music that stands the test of time:  Isleys, Bill Withers, Gladys Knight, Charlie Daniels as well as a handful of one hit wonders like O-oh Child, Put Your Hand in the Hand, One Toke Over the Line, and more.

It's an interesting story of rags to riches to rags to riches to rags. Unfortunately this film does little to capture the essence.

It's more of a vanity piece, written, directed, produced, funded and overseen by Bogart's surviving family.  For that reason, the faults and quirks that made him interesting are glossed over.  It's more of a hosanna to his brilliance and includes Forrest-Gump-like scenes that almost certainly did not happen.

He did not teach Gladys Knight to sing Midnight Train. He did not dangle a microphone like a floating phallus to get a moaning performance out of Donna Summer. He did not have a heart-to-heart with Gene on a bus.

 It also fiddled and fudged with the timeline for convenience.  For reasons that make no sense, Donna Summer was credited with pulling Casablanca back from the brink and erasing mountainous debt when in actuality it was Alive! that was Casablanca's savior.  Bogart was weeks away from complete financial ruin when Alive! broke and gave his label new life.  Why the film shaded that an pretended Summer filled the coffers I don't know.

Bogart's is a story that would make a great movie. This isn't it.  Too much of his life was sanitized, bleached of substance, and excused.  We needed to see those personal failures without the sheen.  Glorifying Bogart robbed the film of so much depth.

Other things that damaged the film:

> KISS wouldn't license the actual makeup design so that looks bad. Really bad. 
>Ridiculous CGI used in several scenes. The scene outside a horse track between Bogart and his dad (portrayed by Lucius Malfoy/Col. Tavington) was worse than a used car commercial. It was atrocious.
> Horrible wigs and outfits. Jay Pharoah's was particularly bad.  Like they just ran out of wardrobe money and raided the prop room of an eighth grade play.
> The lead.  It was the guy's first film, taking over a role that was supposed to be Justin Timberlake's (before he wisely backed out).  He was a Broadway star and it was obvious he played it like he was on Broadway. That rarely translates well to film.
> Donna Summer was not a short, fat ball of lard. That was distracting.

Reasons to recommend:

> The closing song is really interesting in how it weaves portions of many of the songs that made Bogart's career. But, like the lead's overall performance it has a real Broadway quality to it.
> Lyndsy Fonseca is nice to look at and carried the 70s/early 80s vibe well
> Michelle Monaghan is also nice to look at (not so much here, and not given enough to do).
> The music is great throughout, even though in most cases they used knockoffs sung by the actors in the film rather than the originals

Those reasons are not enough to put this film on anybody's watchlist.

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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3461 on: February 17, 2024, 11:19:25 AM »
Oppenheimer

Ridiculously overstuffed cast.  So many people you know from other things.  Florence Pugh's natural little misshapen titties. I'm really sad for her that she chose to be all naked in THIS atomic turkey.

It's the most boring thing I've ever seen by a long shot.  I'm roughly an hour in. I will not make it another two hours.  I don't think I can stand one additional second of Cillian Murphy's mugging, monotone mumbling, staring, depressed moping, and over-acting. I cannot tolerate one more scene with Emily Blunt.  She's better than this.  I cannot sit through another three minutes of people sitting around over-emoting and bloviating.  I will not endure any more of the Oppenheimer dream flashes.   

FWIW, the jangling and discordant score is headache-inducing.

I don't care if that makes me uncultured.  This is a boring, tedious, dreary slog that bounces cack and forth in time and makes my entire skull numb fromg its drudgery.  Anyone who pretends to like this is just being pretentious.  The emperor has no clothes, just a massive cloak of boredom. I'm willing to point that out.

This is zero fun. Zero interest.  A bomb about a bomb. 

I will not finish this movie.  Not now, not ever.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2024, 11:48:17 AM by Kaos »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3462 on: February 23, 2024, 03:05:34 PM »
The Good Nurse

This is a very dark movie.  No, I mean actually dark. It's almost like Batman should be somewhere in the murky shadows. Every room, every scene, every situation is devoid of light and washed out. Sometimes, like Batman, it was so dark it was difficult to tell what was going on.

Jessica Chastain stars as a nurse who figures out that a colleague is possibly poisoning patients by adding insulin and/or digoxin to their IV bags. Doing it for sport, mainly.

The hospital where they work doesn't want to know or run the risk of litigation so they usher him out for a different reason. So he just lands at another hospital.

That's what spurs Chastain to help police get the evidence they need to put the guy away. As the look into his history he's worked at numerous hospitals, each tenure beset by patients who die unexpectedly.  When it all gets wrapped up, they estimate he may have killed 400-500 people this way over 16 years, and any time he was suspected, the hospital where he worked sent him packing, closed the file, and declined to record a reason. Liability, you know.

Eddie Redmayne played the murdering nurse. I've never liked the guy, don't understand the hype. He looks like what Google AI would create if you asked it to cross a weasel and Michael Cera (assuming that is they didn't make him black like nazi soldiers, black like the Founding Fathers, black like the Vikings, or black like Albert Einstein).  Whatever "talent" Redmanye has was dwarfed by Chastain. He just didn't measure up.

All in all, it's a pretty sobering story. We trust doctors and nurses to inject shit into us -- except the Vax, which was never to be trusted -- and assume it is going to improve our situation. It would be, and is, extremely simple for one of them to change the mix and poison us in a way no one would ever expect or think to discover.  Like with the phony vax. Most of the time he was just dosing bags of glucose, which almost all of us have had pumped in at various times.

I did not know when I started this film that it was a true story.
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chinook

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3463 on: February 23, 2024, 03:44:34 PM »
Oppenheimer

Ridiculously overstuffed cast.  So many people you know from other things.  Florence Pugh's natural little misshapen titties. I'm really sad for her that she chose to be all naked in THIS atomic turkey.

It's the most boring thing I've ever seen by a long shot.  I'm roughly an hour in. I will not make it another two hours.  I don't think I can stand one additional second of Cillian Murphy's mugging, monotone mumbling, staring, depressed moping, and over-acting. I cannot tolerate one more scene with Emily Blunt.  She's better than this.  I cannot sit through another three minutes of people sitting around over-emoting and bloviating.  I will not endure any more of the Oppenheimer dream flashes.   

FWIW, the jangling and discordant score is headache-inducing.

I don't care if that makes me uncultured.  This is a boring, tedious, dreary slog that bounces cack and forth in time and makes my entire skull numb fromg its drudgery.  Anyone who pretends to like this is just being pretentious.  The emperor has no clothes, just a massive cloak of boredom. I'm willing to point that out.

This is zero fun. Zero interest.  A bomb about a bomb. 

I will not finish this movie.  Not now, not ever.

not to say you are wrong because you are not.  i liked the imperfect titties. 

anyway...i'm on day three of trying to finish this movie.  i hit the pause button on the remote thinking i have 20 minutes left...not 2 hours.  fuck.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3464 on: February 23, 2024, 04:38:02 PM »
not to say you are wrong because you are not.  i liked the imperfect titties. 

anyway...i'm on day three of trying to finish this movie.  i hit the pause button on the remote thinking i have 20 minutes left...not 2 hours.  fuck.

I never finished (that’s what she said) and I do not regret walking away. 
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War Damn Six

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3465 on: February 23, 2024, 07:13:54 PM »
I never finished (that’s what she said) and I do not regret walking away.

I never started. 
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3466 on: February 25, 2024, 09:50:58 AM »
Thanksgiving

Holiday's over. But it was there, so I sat down expecting a turkey.

It wasn't exactly a gobbler, but it wasn't a full horror meal anyway.  I wish Eli Roth was half as good at making horor movies as he thought he was. He's done a few that had substance.  Cabin Fever was fairly decent. Hostel was essentially torture porn, but it has a following. He's also done some absolute low-rent, trash-ass garbage. Same for his acting career.

How the guy sticks around, has a career, and gets people to give him money mystifies me. His movies are heavy-handed, idiotically gory, and typically take things a step too far.

Thanksgiving was his effort to get himself back from the "you're a sick bastard" fringe to the mainstream with a slasher movie that harkens back to the Jason/Freddy/Michael heights of the 80s and 90s.

Too bad the plot is unreasonably stupid. Too bad he doesn't care about structure, pacing, sense, or anything that could have elevated this movie beyond barely sticking its nose above the schlock swamp. It should have been a fun movie, but Roth's need to slather on gory kills above any desire to create a valid emotional motivation for the carnage keeps it mired in his infantile muck.

Yes, there were some creative murders. Yes, the lead girl had pretty eyes and a slight resemblance to a young Julia Roberts, and yes, he managed to snare Patrick Dempsey as one of the main characters, but the rest was a murky miasma of bland and lumpy mashed potatoes, cold gravy, dry ass stuffing, cranberry sauce from a can, and a badly undercooked bird.

It's not Thankskilling - which truly was a turkey - but it's not going to fill that "every holiday needs a slasher film" void.

I didn't hate it, but Roth clearly needs some medication.  Start with an ego deflater. He can't even make B-movies, it's more D-level.  That he rates himself as an expert on horror is kind of insulting to those of us who have a real affinity for the genre. He's a hack. This film, which could have been great in more skilled hands, proves it.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2024, 02:13:35 PM by Kaos »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3467 on: March 08, 2024, 04:46:55 PM »
Ricky Stanicky

Amazon "comedy."  Zac Efron (who looks surgically ruined), John Cena. A terrible Jeff Ross cameo. William H. Macy looking old as shit. 

There was a whole lot of box-checking in lieu of funny.

Ginger soy sucker. Check. White guy married to black woman. Check. Weed smoking black gay slacker best friend (completely unrealistic pairing). Check.  Black guy's boyfriend - crippled and walks with those arm crutches.  Check. Another guy on crutches. Check. Disabled (badly) woman in a wheelchair who's an executive at a financial firm. Check. And now there's a dwarf. Check.

My first reaction is that it's unnecessarily crude. It's another flailing effort that choses crudity/vulgarity in the mistaken idea that comedy only exists in the gutter. 

If you have a desire to see John Cena dressed as Britney Spears, Alice Cooper or Boy George? This might be the movie for you. I mean it's mildly amusing in a place or two, but that's about all it holds. Just a second or two of brief amusement.

Cena's performance is really the only thing that keeps this from  drowning under its own cringey weight.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3468 on: March 09, 2024, 11:40:17 AM »
Poor Things

I've now seen the three major Oscar contenders. Oppenheimer (overstuffed, overacted, underwhelming BORE). Killers of the Flower Moon (pedantic plod through history, poorly acted, poorly told).  And now this.  What an unmitigated, bizarre disastrous pile of nonsense. 

Emma Stone as a horny Frankenstein's Monster. Wilhelm Dafoe as the evil doctor himself. Mark Ruffalo as the gigolo lothario inexplicably attracted to the freakish Stone -- who turns into a mewling cuck.

Stone is getting widespread accolades for her portrayal.  This, is to me, a clear-cut example of Hollywood jerking itself off.

Her "performance" is terrible. Most of it consists of making (absolutely disgusting) o-faces while she humps her way around the world, shoves cucumbers up her twat, and rambles in in-effective, stilted speech.

It's supposed to be "Victorian England" but (pet peeve) the accents are come and go.  Dafoe occasionally croaks like Mrs. Doubtfire, but mostly doesn't.  Stone's flat accent has little to no British lilt, except every once in a while she does try to affect one and ends up sounding like a fourth-grader pretending to be Mary Poppins. Ruffalo's is even worse. It's there, it's not, it's BAD. 

Everything about this movie is weird and twisted from the score to the lens choices to the surreal visual palettes.

It's a horrible movie.  I think it's supposed to deliver some "feminist empowerment" message about a woman finding her strength in a world dominated by men - by using her twat as a weapon and a means of commerce.  It failed at that, too.

It's a vulgar abomination -- and I'm frankly not surprised to see Hollyweird falling all over themselves to gushingly jerk off to it.  It's not art. It's closer to porn.  The "performances" are porn movie level.  The story is porn movie quality.  I'd rather watch actual porn than be subjected to this. 
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3469 on: March 17, 2024, 12:18:55 AM »
Damsel

How do you mess up a fairy tale so that it appeals to no one?

This is the way. 

Too violent for kids.  Too goofy and plot deficient for adults.  I could never figure out who the target audience for this poorly scripted, poorly acted cgi mush. 

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3470 on: March 17, 2024, 06:48:07 AM »
Damsel

How do you mess up a fairy tale so that it appeals to no one?

This is the way. 

Too violent for kids.  Too goofy and plot deficient for adults.  I could never figure out who the target audience for this poorly scripted, poorly acted cgi mush.


The best part of the movie was the dragon. Whoever did the voice did a good job of creeping me out at certain points of the film. Very devilish.

Millie Bobby Brown is welcome to take my Stranger Thing from the Upside Down. However, I do agree that it was poorly scripted. Hell, some parts were even dumb. For instance:

-Why did she cut her hair to fight the dragon? Speed boost? Did I miss her sprinkling it about to throw the beast off her scent?
- Tips and tricks left by previous girls in her situation accompanied with very detailed flashbacks of what they went through… dumb.
- The narrative of the movie is “Girl Power!”, which is fine… but most of the audience for an action movie with a dragon in it are going to be dudes that just want to see action & a badass dragon (could’ve been designed better). Purely my opinion.
- I counted maybe 10-11 times that she would’ve been dead had the dragon actually tried to kill her based on how overpowered it was killing everyone else. No consistency… “Let’s watch you climb up a crystal well and not breathe fire up your chimney!”

Just a one-time watch for sure.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3471 on: March 17, 2024, 07:54:44 AM »

The best part of the movie was the dragon. Whoever did the voice did a good job of creeping me out at certain points of the film. Very devilish.

Millie Bobby Brown is welcome to take my Stranger Thing from the Upside Down. However, I do agree that it was poorly scripted. Hell, some parts were even dumb. For instance:

-Why did she cut her hair to fight the dragon? Speed boost? Did I miss her sprinkling it about to throw the beast off her scent?
- Tips and tricks left by previous girls in her situation accompanied with very detailed flashbacks of what they went through… dumb.
- The narrative of the movie is “Girl Power!”, which is fine… but most of the audience for an action movie with a dragon in it are going to be dudes that just want to see action & a badass dragon (could’ve been designed better). Purely my opinion.
- I counted maybe 10-11 times that she would’ve been dead had the dragon actually tried to kill her based on how overpowered it was killing everyone else. No consistency… “Let’s watch you climb up a crystal well and not breathe fire up your chimney!”

Just a one-time watch for sure.

The map on the wall was the stupidest one. 

They climbed their ass back in the lair to scratch it on there after reaching the end? 

As far as MBB? She’s a child.  With big man monkey paddles for feet.

Also the come and go British accent annoyed me.

By the way, when did dragons learn to speak. 


Another unrelated note.  The movie lost me to the point that I started thinking of other things.  Many cultures had winged dragons spitting fire as part of their lore. I wonder if those were actually ancient alien fighter jets and the scribes had no other frame of reference ?
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3472 on: March 17, 2024, 09:15:46 AM »
Another unrelated note.  The movie lost me to the point that I started thinking of other things.  Many cultures had winged dragons spitting fire as part of their lore. I wonder if those were actually ancient alien fighter jets and the scribes had no other frame of reference ?

You ever listen to Graham Hancock? He’s a little out there, but has dedicated his adult life to the theory that we are not the first advanced civilization on Earth. That we're the children of survivors from a time long forgotten. Technology and minds greater than our own lost to unknown cataclysmic events. Pole’s shifting, great floods, ice age, meteor impacts. It’s a cool thought experiment.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3473 on: March 17, 2024, 09:43:11 AM »
You ever listen to Graham Hancock? He’s a little out there, but has dedicated his adult life to the theory that we are not the first advanced civilization on Earth. That we're the children of survivors from a time long forgotten. Technology and minds greater than our own lost to unknown cataclysmic events. Pole’s shifting, great floods, ice age, meteor impacts. It’s a cool thought experiment.

I have not. But I think about this stuff occasionally. 

 -- The Nazca Lines in South America.
 -- Brunelleschi's dome, that centuries of engineers couldn't understand (most of Roman engineering, actually)
-- Pyramids (and those in central America as well)

There are sudden technological leaps throughout history that are almost inexplicable.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3474 on: March 18, 2024, 11:19:06 PM »
The Royal Hotel

Two party girls on holiday run out of money in Australia and have to get a job to put some cash back.  They're assigned by the job agency (I guess) to a really remote mining town where they can live and tend bar. 

Some mildly threatening things happen as the rowdy, horny miners vie for attention and then the two completely and totally overreact, leaving a mess in their wake.

Another glaring example that Ruth from Ozark can only be Ruth from Ozark. That was her one and only part. She was abysmal in that one where she played the fake girl and she's raw ass terrible here too.

Bad, stupid, dusty movie. Gets zero stars. I am dumber by far for watching it.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3475 on: March 24, 2024, 10:26:19 AM »
Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning

Beautifully shot.

Incomprehensible. 
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