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Your moments part II

Token

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Your moments part II
« on: December 09, 2011, 04:58:04 PM »
This time it's most awkward moments.  Obviously if this were a contest, I wouldn't waste my time knowing that Kaos has raged and thrown food at kids over tomatoes, but since it's not. 

Was in a class where the discussion was about about cell phones.  Instructor immediately asked for a cell phone from the room.  A guy volunteered his phone thinking we were going to hide it and track it.  Well, this part of the class was about pulling information from a sim card that had been previously erased.  Shit happened fast, and before the guy really knew what was going on, we were looking at a series of photos where he was apparently getting a blowjob from a girl with long hair.  We all laughed, everyone but him.  He was uneasy, but who wouldn't be looking at that?  After 5 or 6 photos, she finally comes up for air and exposes her face.  It was his partner's fiancee.  His partner who we all knew, and also happened to be in the room.

Holy shit that was awkward.
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War Eagle!!!

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2011, 05:02:25 PM »
This time it's most awkward moments.  Obviously if this were a contest, I wouldn't waste my time knowing that Kaos has raged and thrown food at kids over tomatoes, but since it's not. 

Was in a class where the discussion was about about cell phones.  Instructor immediately asked for a cell phone from the room.  A guy volunteered his phone thinking we were going to hide it and track it.  Well, this part of the class was about pulling information from a sim card that had been previously erased.  Shit happened fast, and before the guy really knew what was going on, we were looking at a series of photos where he was apparently getting a blowjob from a girl with long hair.  We all laughed, everyone but him.  He was uneasy, but who wouldn't be looking at that?  After 5 or 6 photos, she finally comes up for air and exposes her face.  It was his partner's fiancee.  His partner who we all knew, and also happened to be in the room.

Holy shit that was awkward.

No fucking shit? The instructor didn't stop after the first picture??
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Token

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2011, 05:06:51 PM »
No fucking shit? The instructor didn't stop after the first picture??

No, we were all laughing, it was his personal phone and we all know the guy.  Thinking back, I think he was too shocked to say anything, like I said, we really didn't know that was part of the class.  BUT, he's single and always doing that shit AND showing it around.  He may not have realized who it was until she came up.  There were videos, but we obviously didn't watch those after that. 
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AWK

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2011, 05:08:29 PM »
No, we were all laughing, it was his personal phone and we all know the guy.  Thinking back, I think he was too shocked to say anything, like I said, we really didn't know that was part of the class.  BUT, he's single and always doing that shit AND showing it around.  He may not have realized who it was until she came up.  There were videos, but we obviously didn't watch those after that.
Did said partner beat the shit out of him?
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Token

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2011, 05:14:35 PM »
Did said partner beat the shit out of him?

Surprisingly, no.  One was placed on nights, then eventually quit. 

Others?
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2011, 05:24:22 PM »
Don't know if this is true or not, my cousin has been known to embellish.  Anyway, he went with his best friend over to a mutual friends house who's daughter had just had a baby.  They walked in and talked for a few minutes and the couple told my cousin and his buddy to go back there and see the baby because it was sleeping.  They go back there and sure enough, the baby is sleeping but they immediately see that it's, well...not white.  "Damn, she screwed a n*****".

They go back to see the couple looking at them in horror...and they notice the baby monitor on the end table.  Time to go.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

JR4AU

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2011, 09:28:42 AM »
This was somewhat awkward...

I was working patrol, and got a call about a car full of kids doing something...can't recall exactly what.  I was on nights, but it was early morning, full light.  Stopped the car in front of a church on Hwy 31.   They were doing construction on the church and there were already guys up on scaffolds up on the hill.  There are 5 in the car, all around 20 years old, and 2 are females, the driver male.  I find a good stash of dope in the trunk, and arrest the driver.  Did some more investigation.  Had them all sitting out on the side of the road.  Something (can't recall what) told me there was more.  I told them that I normally only arrested the driver when I found dope in the car and nobody would claim it, but that I could arrest everybody unless someone claimed the dope.   I told them I knew there was more, and that everybody was going to jail unless someone fessed up.  One of the girls said she'd tell.  I asked where, and she looked down at her crotch.  I called a female officer.  When she arrived, the girl sat in the back of my patrol car, then laid down and pulled her dress up.  She put her feet up on the sides of the door like she was in "the stirrups".  She had no panties on.  She reached in her cooch, and pulled it out marijuana.  The female officer was in shock.  It was NOT in baggies...she pulled out three hand fulls, and drops it out the door on the ground.  The female officer says "You got to arrest her".  I said, "ok, make you a deal, I'll book her in while you collect the evidence."  She said, "Ok, nevermind, it's almost going home time anyway".    The girl is still sitting there with her legs spread...the guys on scaffolding are all staring.  I look at her and say, "you can cover that up now".  Yeah, she was ok looking, but skanky.
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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2011, 11:08:31 AM »
One of my college roommates married a girl from our hometown.  When he did nobody really expected it to last (never an odder pair) and I didn't really care for the girl anyway.  So they had been married for a couple of weeks and I call him up and ask how his wife is doing.  He tells me she left him, but I quickly figure out that he is joking around and she has really gone on a business trip.  So about 6 months later I give a call to their house again and she picks up.  I ask to speak to Jason and she says that he has left her. 

"Come on, quit shitting me and let me talk to him.  He tried pulling this same joke not that long ago."

She bursts into tears and tells me that he has moved out and they are getting a divorce.

"Oh................ Well sorry to hear that, talk to you later. Bye."
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You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him: "That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

Saniflush

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2011, 11:15:17 AM »
I asked a non-pregnant friend of a friend if she knew if she was having a boy or a girl? 
Not really out of the ordinary for me to do something like this but this time I really thought the chick was pregnant.



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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2011, 11:31:05 AM »
Had a lady law professor who's husband showed up at school one night.....in drag.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Saniflush

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2011, 11:32:50 AM »
Had a lady law professor who's husband showed up at school one night.....in drag.

Those folks at Faulkner know how to party.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2011, 11:36:46 AM »
Those folks at Faulkner know how to party.

Unfortunately, it was before I got there but the story reached legendary status quick.   
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

JR4AU

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2011, 11:37:12 AM »
Had a lady law professor who's husband showed up at school one night.....in drag.

Shirley's?
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djsimp

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2011, 11:45:45 AM »
I was one of the DJ's at a Rave about 10 yrs ago and had a group of friends and friends of friends come along. One of the friends of friends was as country as it gets (not sure why he was at a rave other than drugs) was slam wasted starring at some "chicks" dancing on a mini stage. He turned and looked at the guy next to him and stated how much he would like to bang this chick while rubbing up and down the chicks leg. Well, the chick heard him and turned around....."she" had a full grown beard. Those of us that were paying attention laughed uncontrollably. He did an exit stage left and wasn't see or heard from in about a week.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2011, 11:48:10 AM »
Shirley's?

Winner winner chicken dinner
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2011, 11:53:42 AM »
I was one of the DJ's at a Rave about 10 yrs ago and had a group of friends and friends of friends come along. One of the friends of friends was as country as it gets (not sure why he was at a rave other than drugs) was slam wasted starring at some "chicks" dancing on a mini stage. He turned and looked at the guy next to him and stated how much he would like to bang this chick while rubbing up and down the chicks leg. Well, the chick heard him and turned around....."she" had a full grown beard. Those of us that were paying attention laughed uncontrollably. He did an exit stage left and wasn't see or heard from in about a week.

Don't lie....that guy was you.
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WDE

djsimp

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #16 on: December 12, 2011, 11:56:57 AM »
Don't lie....that guy was you.

Thanks, now I'm gonna have VV tracking me.
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JR4AU

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #17 on: December 12, 2011, 12:00:14 PM »
Winner winner chicken dinner

Not only is the law a stern mistress, but apparently her husband is too. 
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GH2001

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #18 on: December 12, 2011, 12:01:33 PM »
Thanks, now I'm gonna have VV tracking me.

You found your Lola

$1 to the Kinks
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Your moments part II
« Reply #19 on: December 12, 2011, 12:10:59 PM »
Not only is the law a stern mistress, but apparently her husband is too.

Quick Shirley story...that was awkward for one student.  She had a first semester guy from here in Dothan, stand to brief a case.  Asked him what the facts were.  The guy starts stammering, saying some shit about a fire truck.  Then he says, "I'm sorry.  I'm really nervous".  She just nods and says "Well you're studying to be a lawyer.  You'll just have to get over it."  He continues trying to form a coherent sentence and eventually says, "I'd like to sit down".  Shirley goes into one of her lectures to the class about coming in prepared and all that shit.

Very next class, she walks in and starts to talk.  The guy stands up and walks down to her desk.  They talk for about 30 seconds.  He goes back to his desk, grabs his shit and walked out.  As far as we know, never set foot in the school again.   
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."