Okay, What Gives You The Heebie Jeebies???

[Saniflush]

Holy shit.

Couple of years ago, my buddy and I were planning a bachelor party for another friend.  We thought it we'd start it off with a basketball game, against midgets, on 7 foot rims.  Mainly so we could just dunk on them.  I even put an ad on craigslist, offering to pay the midgets $50/hour.  No replies.  So my dreams of the "Michael Jordan Experience" for my friend would not come true.  So we got him whores instead.

But this...  This is genius.

This may be the best story that was ever posted on the X.  I liked the long version in the Vegas thread a while back.

[AUTiger1]

You heartless bastard

I found one that may be better.

[DnATL]

I found one that may be better.

Now he'll never look at his wife nekkid again

[AUTiger1]

Now he'll never look at his wife nekkid again

Like he gets to now?

[dallaswareagle]

I found one that may be better.

Where did you get that picture of my ex-wifes bush? Nevermind I see spiders. It was the size that threw me off.

[djsimp]

Where did you get that picture of my ex-wifes bush? Nevermind I see spiders. It was the size that threw me off.

I guess you're a Steppenwolf kind of guy?

[Snaggletiger]

Where did you get that picture of my ex-wifes bush? Nevermind I see spiders. It was the size that threw me off.

Demi Moore?

[AUTiger1]

Demi Moore?

Forgot all about that thread.......I still say there are a bunch of lying SOB"s if they claimed they wouldn't hit it.

[GarMan]

Forgot all about that thread.......I still say there are a bunch of lying SOB"s if they claimed they wouldn't hit it. 

15-20 years ago?  Not a problem... 

[dallaswareagle]

I guess you're a Steppenwolf kind of guy?

No, she was just a HUGE whore.

[AUTiger1]

15-20 years ago?  Not a problem...

Today, 2011, the answer from me would be yes, wouldn't hesitate.

[GarMan]

Today, 2011, the answer from me would be yes, wouldn't hesitate. 

The experience might be something a little like this...

http://www.youtube.com/v/gWHJk5g9DOE

[AU_Tiger_2000]

Just to keep AUTiger1 awake a little longer at night.

   

inShare
Idaho couple's dream home was infested with snakes

REXBURG, Idaho -- They slithered behind the walls at night and released foul-smelling musk into the drinking water. And they were so numerous that Ben Sessions once killed 42 in a single day.

Shortly after buying their dream home, Sessions and his wife discovered it was infested with thousands of garter snakes. For the next three months, their growing family lived as if in a horror movie. More than a year after they abandoned the property, the home briefly went back on the market, and they fear it could someday attract another unsuspecting buyer.

The five-bedroom house stands on nearly two pastoral acres in rural Idaho, about 125 miles southwest of Yellowstone National Park. Priced at less than $180,000, it seemed like a steal.

But the young couple soon learned they would be sharing the home with reptiles at least two feet long that had crawled into seemingly every crevice.

While setting up a chicken coop, Sessions lifted a piece of sheet metal and was startled to see a pair of snakes slither away. A few days later, he found more and soon started to collect dozens in buckets. At times, there were so many in the yard that the grass seemed to move.

If he rapped a stick against the roof overhang, he could hear dozens scatter, their scales sliding against the aluminum. After he removed some panels of siding, dozens of snakes popped out. When he made his way through the crawl space to investigate further, he found snakes everywhere.
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That's when he realized his family was probably living atop a garter snake den where the nonpoisonous reptiles congregate in the fall and winter.

Sessions quickly developed a daily snake-fighting routine. Before his pregnant wife and two small boys got out of bed, he would do a "morning sweep" through the house to make sure none of the snakes had gotten inside. One day, his wife screamed from the laundry room, where she had almost stepped on one. He rushed in to find that she had jumped onto a counter.

"I was terrified she was going to miscarry," he said.

When they bought the house, the Sessions signed a document that noted the snake infestation. They said they had been assured by their real estate agent that the snakes were just a story invented by the previous owners to leave their mortgage behind.

They soon learned that nearly everyone else in this tiny college town knew the snakes were real.

"I felt bad," said Dustin Chambers, a neighbor. "By the time we knew someone had bought it, they were already moving in. It was too late."

Among locals, the property is known simply as the "snake house," he added.

The pests were impossible to escape no matter the hour of the day.

At night, the Sessions would lie awake and listen to slithering inside the walls. During the day, the family often had to eat out because their well water smelled like the musk released by the snakes as a warning to predators.

But because of the paperwork they had signed, the couple had little recourse when they decided to flee the home. They filed for bankruptcy, and the bank foreclosed on the house.

The Sessions left in December 2009, the day after their daughter was born and just three months after moving in.

[AUTiger1]

But because of the paperwork they had signed, the couple had little recourse when they decided to flee the home.

Pfffffttttttttttttttt.....I would have burned that place to the ground.  Wouldn't have hesitated.

[Buzz Killington]

Bump for AUT1

Technical Support, how can I help you?

 

 FEMALE CALLER:  'Last night my computer started making a lot of hissing noises at me so I shut it down.  This morning when I turned it on the computer started hissing and cracking, then started smoking and a bad smell, then nothing'.

 

TECH SUPPORT:  'I will have a technician come over first thing this morning.
Leave the computer just like it is, so they can find the problem and fix it, or change it out with another computer.  Give me your address; phone number and the technician will be there just as soon as he can'.

 

When the technician got there, the lady showed him where the computer was,
said what happened to it, ... this is what the technician found wrong.

 


Take a look at the pictures... YOU WON'T BELIEVE YOUR EYES ...

  And you thought YOU had computer problems!!!





 
The technician told her: ... 'It must have been after the mouse!'
... The woman didn't think it was very funny at all!

[AUTiger1]

You sick Son of...................

May you run over a nest of these on your mower!



I have to ask how shitty does your place have to be to have a freaking snake inside your PC just chilling?

Last summer I was helping my brother in law haul hay, I grabbed up a bail to toss on the trailer and hanging out is about half of a rat snake that got caught up in the baler.  Scared the shit out of me until I realzed he was dead.   <shudder>

[Snaggletiger]

Those are the meanest bastards on earth

[djsimp]

[Snaggletiger]

Now, I said at the start of this thing that snakes don't give me the heebies.  THIS would give me the heebies, the jeebies, the pants-pissies, the drawer-shitties.....

[AUTiger1]

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...................DAMN YOU SIMP!


I can see a picture of snake of the non poisonous variety and not think nothing of it.......but that.....yup made me flinch at my desk and I said "Oh Shit!" out loud.