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Are you Gay?

Saniflush

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Are you Gay?
« on: October 03, 2007, 11:22:46 AM »
Taylor, no need for you to answer.

Quote
Ask yourself:

Am I Gay?

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...

'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a ****.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8 . If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Jumbo

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Re: Are you Gay?
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2007, 01:47:51 PM »
I have a cat and I am dying to tune up the meat whistle
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Saniflush

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Re: Are you Gay?
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2007, 01:52:48 PM »
I have a cat and I am dying to tune up the meat whistle

I knew it.  Fucking fag!
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

AWK

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Re: Are you Gay?
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2007, 02:18:48 PM »
Thats funny, coming from a cocksucker who looks this shit up.  You a little worried about that strange feeling you get when you see men jogging?
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Saniflush

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Re: Are you Gay?
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2007, 02:21:50 PM »
Thats funny, coming from a cocksucker who looks this shit up.  You a little worried about that strange feeling you get when you see men jogging?

Don't hate me because I am self aware.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Jumbo

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Re: Are you Gay?
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2007, 02:33:36 PM »
Don't hate me because I am self aware.
Howard just wants to make sure the guys package is fully supported during the jog
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Saniflush

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Re: Are you Gay?
« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2007, 02:46:04 PM »
Howard just wants to make sure the guys package is fully supported during the jog

I just don't want Taylor to sprain a tongue while being tea bagged.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

AWK

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Re: Are you Gay?
« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2007, 04:23:37 PM »
 :taunt:
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Jumbo

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Re: Are you Gay?
« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2007, 06:46:32 PM »
I just don't want Taylor to sprain a tongue while being tea bagged.
that would be a hard one to explain to the guys
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.