You Can't Piss On Cam Newton...

[AUChizad]

(George Hardy Won't Allow It)

http://www.thewareaglereader.com/2010/12/you-cant-piss-on-cam-newton-george-hardy-wont-allow-it/

Cam Newton and George Hardy have two things in common. They’re both Auburn men and they’re both the best at what they do.
Cam is the best college football player in the country this year, and maybe ever.
George starred in the worst movie ever made – but it’s the best worst movie ever made… so best, so worst they made a movie about the movie.
It’s name? Best Worst Movie.
The 2009 documentary (just released to DVD) is about both the making of, and the cult following that has sprung up around Troll 2 (1990), the Les Miles of  horror films, which inadvertently abandons cinematic convention like plot and coherent dialog (and even a title that references the story – there are no trolls in Troll 2) with such awkward sincerity it broaches the sublime. George Hardy stars in both, first as the strong-jawed, starvation-practiced, see-no-evil dad who forces his family to endure the most ill-conceived vacation ever in Troll 2, and then in Best Worst Movie as the lovable Alexander City dentist and – it’s almost too good to be true – former Auburn cheerleader (mid-70s — great time) coming to comical terms with his status as a cult film icon.

Hipsters and geeks and Joe Movie Buffs have, through the magic grapevines of what Hardy calls the “MySpace Generation,” embraced Troll 2, performing it’s most poignant scenes for each other a la The Rocky Horror Picture Show at annual viewing parties and freak fests. The catchphrase of choice for Troll 2 enthusiasts is Hardy’s most memorable line, forcefully delivered after he snaps out of a time-freezing spell put on him by his dead father-in-law only to discover his son Joshua (Michael Paul Stephenson, who directed Best Worst Movie) urinating on a buffet of slime-covered pastries in order to keep his family from eating them and thus summoning a pack of vegetarian goblins: “You can’t piss on hospitality! I won’t allow it!”

TWER staffers recently pilgrimaged to Alexander City to interview Hardy (receiving some free dental work in the process), and a fuller treatment of “the rich man’s Craig T. Nelson” – his new life in the hipster spotlight, and his old life on the Barfield “Bodda Getta” sidelines – will be featured on TWER after Auburn wins the national championship.
But in the meantime, we thought it fitting to have him send a message to all of the Thayer Evans’ and Pete Thamels and Joe Schads of the world… to all the Bryant-Denny DJs… to all the Heisman Trophy voters who pretended to make a statement with blank ballots or bogus votes… to the Oregon Ducks… to all of the trolls out there trying to keep a fellow champion down:

[AUChizad]

I just watched Best Worst Movie tonight for the first time.
 

[AUChizad]

As I've said before, I actually watched Troll 2 back when I was like nine or ten years old. I liked the original Troll movie, and was expecting an actual sequel. I remember, even at that young age, my friends and I mocking how ridiculously stupid that movie was. I own the Troll/Troll 2 double feature DVD now as an adult.

This documentary is awesome. It's funny how it contrasts the Alex City natives (where the lead actor now lives and works as a dentist) who have never heard of this movie and could give a flying fuck, with the insane cult popularity it has in major cities. The dude's a living legend to these fans in LA, but then back home, people are like "Dude, shut up about your movie already", and you can tell they really don't believe him when he talks about the fanfare it receives outside of Alabama.

My favorite line was when one of the fans tried to describe Troll 2 as "what would happen if aliens watched a whole bunch of our movies and then tried to make a movie that humans would like."

This is the best description I've heard yet of Troll 2, that comes the closest to describing how weird and unnatural the story and dialog are.

I recommend both of these movies for different reasons.

[The Prowler]

I recommend a quarter bag, a plate of Pizza Rolls, a bag of Ranch Doritos and a 2 Litre of Coca-Cola.  Then....then, you'd be in for a real mutha fuckin' treat.  The Best Worst Movie and Troll 2 would become the Best Movies that you'd ever seen, ever ever. Fact