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**WARNING** TMI

Token

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**WARNING** TMI
« on: October 18, 2010, 10:30:28 PM »
So I've been doing kegel exercises for about a month now.  The upside has proven to be magnificent,  but the down side is much worse than the upside is better.  I can't shit.  No, really.  It feels like I'm trying to squeeze a 58 Buick Roadmaster out of my ass.  I mean, Christmas is getting close and I'd really like to surprise my wife with a prodigious amount of milky goodness across the bridge of her nose and into both eyes, but I don't want to be found dead on the john with a brain aneurysm. 

Can I get a prescription for a few hundred epidurals?  Or should I just start eating taco meat 3 times a day?

I did warn you.
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AUTiger1

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2010, 10:57:42 PM »
Only on the X!
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

Saniflush

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2010, 07:05:20 AM »
I have no answer for the main issue but let me say nothing says yule tide greetings like a shot across the bow.

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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

JR4AU

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2010, 08:05:18 AM »
So I've been doing kegel exercises for about a month now.  The upside has proven to be magnificent,  but the down side is much worse than the upside is better.  I can't shit.  No, really.  It feels like I'm trying to squeeze a 58 Buick Roadmaster out of my ass.  I mean, Christmas is getting close and I'd really like to surprise my wife with a prodigious amount of milky goodness across the bridge of her nose and into both eyes, but I don't want to be found dead on the john with a brain aneurysm. 

Can I get a prescription for a few hundred epidurals?  Or should I just start eating taco meat 3 times a day?

I did warn you.

Some of the chili I made Saturday should do the trick.
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JR4AU

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2010, 08:16:13 AM »
Oh, good, strong, hot coffee works too.
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Godfather

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2010, 09:21:47 AM »
Fiber.   Have some yogurt in the morning and then lots of salad.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2010, 09:35:59 AM »
Fiber.   Have some yogurt in the morning and then lots of salad.

I am really getting sick of all these gay hijac....wait, what?
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2010, 09:46:04 AM »
Regularityability has never been my problem (As my family can attest) so I gots nothin' for ya'.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

wesfau2

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2010, 09:50:54 AM »
Fiber.   Have some yogurt in the morning and then lots of salad.

Oatmeal.

That stuff is miraculous.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2010, 10:10:39 AM »
Try eating a bran muffin and some strong coffee for breakfast every day for a week.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Tiger Wench

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2010, 10:12:02 AM »
PLEASE tell me this is a riff off of some stupid movie...

Please...
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Saniflush

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2010, 10:19:07 AM »
PLEASE tell me this is a riff off of some stupid movie...

Please...
It's not.
Toke try this now that the nights are getting cooler.
Taco Soup

2 lbs. hamburger
1 medium onion (cut up)
1 can red beans
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can Rotel (I use original)
2 cans white corn
2 pkgs. Taco seasoning mix
2 pkgs. Ranch dressing mix
2 cups water

Brown hamburger meat with onion till done.  Add all other ingredients (without draining) and let simmer.  Serve with tostitos (or fritos), grated cheese and sour cream.

*Note:  You can use any type of beans you like.  I usually use only 2 cans of red beans.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2010, 10:26:59 AM »
It's not.
Toke try this now that the nights are getting cooler.
Taco Soup

2 lbs. hamburger
1 medium onion (cut up)
1 can red beans
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can Rotel (I use original)
2 cans white corn
2 pkgs. Taco seasoning mix
2 pkgs. Ranch dressing mix
2 cups water

Brown hamburger meat with onion till done.  Add all other ingredients (without draining) and let simmer.  Serve with tostitos (or fritos), grated cheese and sour cream.

*Note:  You can use any type of beans you like.  I usually use only 2 cans of red beans.

That sounds good, gonna give that one to Mrs. GF
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Saniflush

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2010, 10:33:02 AM »
That sounds good, gonna give that one to Mrs. GF

it is.  Gonna make it tonight myself.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

AUTiger1

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2010, 10:35:28 AM »
It's not.
Toke try this now that the nights are getting cooler.
Taco Soup

2 lbs. hamburger
1 medium onion (cut up)
1 can red beans
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can Rotel (I use original)
2 cans white corn
2 pkgs. Taco seasoning mix
2 pkgs. Ranch dressing mix
2 cups water

Brown hamburger meat with onion till done.  Add all other ingredients (without draining) and let simmer.  Serve with tostitos (or fritos), grated cheese and sour cream.

*Note:  You can use any type of beans you like.  I usually use only 2 cans of red beans.
:shit:
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

Buzz Killington

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #15 on: October 19, 2010, 10:36:09 AM »
It's not.
Toke try this now that the nights are getting cooler.
Taco Soup

2 lbs. hamburger
1 medium onion (cut up)
1 can red beans
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can Rotel (I use original)
2 cans white corn
2 pkgs. Taco seasoning mix
2 pkgs. Ranch dressing mix
2 cups water

Brown hamburger meat with onion till done.  Add all other ingredients (without draining) and let simmer.  Serve with tostitos (or fritos), grated cheese and sour cream.

*Note:  You can use any type of beans you like.  I usually use only 2 cans of red beans.

^^^This too^^^

Mrs. Killington usually makes this a couple of times throughout the winter.  It is delicious and functional.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #16 on: October 19, 2010, 10:47:28 AM »
A thread about dropping a growler goes viral in about 2 hours.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Tiger Wench

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #17 on: October 19, 2010, 10:48:06 AM »
That is an absolute wintertime favorite at my house.  It also freezes very well - use the quart size freezer bags for any extra (lay them flat to freeze) - one quart bag will generally hold a single serving, so any leftovers can be saved and reheated as your colon dictates.

A friend of mine and I were talking about that recipe this weekend, and we wondered about substituting a cajan spice mix for the taco powder and making it a cajun bean soup... A package of taco seasoning is about 2.5 tablespoons - if you use two packages of taco seasoning, that's five tbsp - i don't know that I would put that many tablespoons of Tony Chachere's in there unless you use the low salt one.  Maybe try two tbsp of Tony's and then add more to taste.  Serve with fresh french bread instead of chips.

OH - be sure to drain the cans of corn.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2010, 10:50:41 AM by Tiger Wench »
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AWK

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #18 on: October 19, 2010, 12:19:40 PM »
A cup of coffee and a cigarette will get your feces a flowin'.
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djsimp

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Re: **WARNING** TMI
« Reply #19 on: October 19, 2010, 12:24:04 PM »
One word....Fleet.
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