Do They Even Read Their Own Stuff???

[Snaggletiger]

So last week, I posted something making light of Bama being put on the cover of the SI College Football Preview and obligatory JINX that comes with it.  I'm not saying this to bust on Bammie and I don't believe in the SI jinx, especially since they put out a weekly mag.  Honestly, I think they're rightfully the favorite to take it all going in with the Heisman Trophy winner, starting QB, Who-Lee-Oh and company back.  BUT...I just noticed the cover says right under the picture...

ALABAMA

THE CRIMSON TIDE HAS THE DEFENSE TO WIN IT ALL

Why does that make me scratch my balls in wonder?  Because you open to the write up and the first thing you see is starters returning.  Offense - 9  Defense - 1.  ONE???  They have 1 starter returning (According to you) and your cover says they have the defense to win it all?  Now again, I'm not posting to bust Bama's chops or claim a conspiracy, Saban knob schlobbingfest or whatever.  I'd question the hell out of that logic whether it was Bama, Nebraska or Slippery Rock. 

In checking another preseason rag, Lindy's, they had their unit by unit breakdown of the SEC teams.  They rated the QB's, O-lines, etc.  Auburn was rated above LSU in every category except QB (understandable with Cam being new) and D-Line.  So, Auburn is better (According to Lindy's) at RB, O-Line, WR, LB, DB's and special teams...BUT...they have LSU ranked ahead of AU in the West and National poll.  I know it doesn't mean anything but I read this shit and wonder if they even look at what they write.  Okay, meaningless rant off. 

[Buzz Killington]

They must have been watching ESPN all summer long.

[AuburnChopper 3.0]

They must have been watching ESPN all summer long.

Momma says ESPN is bonafide. A real suitor.

[Token]

So last week, I posted something making light of Bama being put on the cover of the SI College Football Preview and obligatory JINX that comes with it.  I'm not saying this to bust on Bammie and I don't believe in the SI jinx, especially since they put out a weekly mag.  Honestly, I think they're rightfully the favorite to take it all going in with the Heisman Trophy winner, starting QB, Who-Lee-Oh and company back.  BUT...I just noticed the cover says right under the picture...

ALABAMA

THE CRIMSON TIDE HAS THE DEFENSE TO WIN IT ALL

Why does that make me scratch my balls in wonder?  Because you open to the write up and the first thing you see is starters returning.  Offense - 9  Defense - 1.  ONE???  They have 1 starter returning (According to you) and your cover says they have the defense to win it all?  Now again, I'm not posting to bust Bama's chops or claim a conspiracy, Saban knob schlobbingfest or whatever.  I'd question the hell out of that logic whether it was Bama, Nebraska or Slippery Rock. 

In checking another preseason rag, Lindy's, they had their unit by unit breakdown of the SEC teams.  They rated the QB's, O-lines, etc.  Auburn was rated above LSU in every category except QB (understandable with Cam being new) and D-Line.  So, Auburn is better (According to Lindy's) at RB, O-Line, WR, LB, DB's and special teams...BUT...they have LSU ranked ahead of AU in the West and National poll.  I know it doesn't mean anything but I read this shit and wonder if they even look at what they write.  Okay, meaningless rant off.

I hate to respond to this because I will be breaking a truce that I made with myself (because I know yall really don't give a shit....except for Prowler who I believe converted to Auburn from Tidefans.com sometime during the streak), but Imma do it anyway.

LB. Don'ta Hightower
LB. Nico Johnson
LB. Courtney Upshaw
DE. Marcell Dareus (probably shouldn't count him yet, because he's a fuckhead)
DT. Josh Chapman
FS. Mark Barron

If Dareus isn't suspended for the year, that's 6 players with significant starts and playing time in the last 2 years.  The secondary is scary because 3 guys will be playing who have little experience, but it isn't nearly as scary as only having 1 returning starter.  That in itself is completely misleading, but I know that's not your gripe. 

So to answer your question, no, the morons who print this shit don't read their own material and probably don't spend a lot of time on research.  Otherwise, they wouldn't make stupid comments like "1 returning starter".

[Ogre]

I hate to respond to this because I will be breaking a truce that I made with myself (because I know yall really don't give a shit....except for Prowler who I believe converted to Auburn from Tidefans.com sometime during the streak), but Imma do it anyway.

LB. Don'ta Hightower
LB. Nico Johnson
LB. Courtney Upshaw
DE. Marcell Dareus (probably shouldn't count him yet, because he's a fuckhead)
DT. Josh Chapman
FS. Mark Barron

If Dareus isn't suspended for the year, that's 6 players with significant starts and playing time in the last 2 years.  The secondary is scary because 3 guys will be playing who have little experience, but it isn't nearly as scary as only having 1 returning starter.  That in itself is completely misleading, but I know that's not your gripe. 

So to answer your question, no, the morons who print this shit don't read their own material and probably don't spend a lot of time on research.  Otherwise, they wouldn't make stupid comments like "1 returning starter".

FUCK YOU, BAMMER!!!!!!!!!!!1!!

[Townhallsavoy]

No, they don't smell their own shit.  They think they're smelling cinnamon buns. 

They could formulate the perfect argument that proves Auburn is head and shoulders better than LSU.  But LSU is perceived as the better program.  Therefore, they throw LSU ahead of Auburn because it looks better on their paper polls. 

Just like Oklahoma jumping up to the top ten in just about every poll.  They went 8-5 last season.  They don't have a quarterback.  Why are they ranked so high?  Because they're Oklahoma.  They gotta be good, right?

[The Prowler]

No, they don't smell their own shit.  They think they're smelling cinnamon buns. 

It's funny that you say that, because I heard a bammer, at work, today tell another bammer that....I'm going to use his words as best as I can, "You know how to get to Allbern?  You go South East 'till you smell it, then you turn right and go South 'till you step in Cow Shit....(paused for laughter from everyone in the break room)....That's when you know you're in Allbern."  I laughed, but not because he explained it the way that he did....but, because little did he and everyone else in the room know what I was about to say.

I told him and everyone there in a laughing/joking/serious manor, that apparently everyone here has never been outside of Tuscaloosa (West or East Bound) and smelt the paper mill on either side of the City....and Tuscaloosa County has more Cattle than Lee County (of course I had to explain to everyone there that Auburn is located in Lee County).  So, I asked him how he get to Auburn....I didn't get a response.    Fuckin' bammers don't realize that I'm a smart mutha fucka.

[War Eagle!!!]

(because I know yall really don't give a shit....except for Prowler who I believe converted to Auburn from Tidefans.com sometime during the streak)

I laughed out loud at "the streak"...