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Author Topic: Kaos' way behind movie reviews  (Read 153710 times)

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1960 on August 05, 2015, 11:32:27 AM »

Mission Impossible 5

Kind of like Mission Impossible 4. No love story angle which was nice. Some crazy stunts. Shaun of the Dead is funny. Popcorn movie but mostly fun unless you apply an ounce of brain power to it. Then you'll realize how stupid the plot really is but turn your brain off for two hours and fun can be had.

Side note: never do popcorn on a Sunday afternoon. Pretty sure they are serving me warmed up stuff from Saturday and my anus is still mad at me for that small helping.



So I won't see this one either.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1961 on August 10, 2015, 08:32:10 AM »

The Gift

The pace was way too slow.  The characters were not defined clearly enough.  The side trails it chased were pointless. 

Bateman is good and could excel in the right role.  But he wasn't allowed to be quite edgy enough to work here.  None of the characters were, actually. 

It could have gone so many different directions.  Too bad the paths it elected to follow were the least interesting of all.  There was not enough menace, too many things left only hinted at that needed more exposition, too much anticipation for such little bang. 

Do not recommend despite Bateman's performance.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1962 on August 15, 2015, 01:17:51 AM »

The Man from U.N.C.L.E

Was headed to see Straight Outta Compton, but tonight's show was sold out.  I almost said something different that referenced a Georgia Bulldog tradition, but changed my mind.  Would not have been a good night for a middle-aged white man to see that movie.  It will do fierce box office I'm sure.  But the general behavior of the throng, the cacophony that accompanied the crowd and the destruction that was caused in the theater and around the concession stands (heard some of the workers lamenting the "wreck" that was left in the theater as they tried to clean up trash and other items that had been simply dropped to the ground as opposed to trash bins around the front) it makes me wonder if "that" audience is one theater owners truly covet.

So I chose Man from UNCLE instead.  Good choice.  Pretty obvious from the tone and visuals that the same guy who did the Sherlock Holmes reboot with Downey, Jr. also handled this film.  It even had the requisite show something and then back up and in slower-mo, show what actually happened (the bare knuckle brawl from Holmes 2 being the perfect example).  It was overused. 

The biggest problem is that this movie had no Downey Jr. or Jude Law to carry it.  It paired Superman and the Lone Ranger.  Think about that.  The two blandest, most do-goodey, boringest, self-righteous "heroes" in the entir comic/film pantheon.  And that's what you had here. 

Superman wasn't bad (you quickly forgot he was Superman) but his suave patter was oatmeal.  It didn't have the crackle and pop -- or depth -- that Downey brought to Holmes. 

The Lone Ranger wasn't bad (I didn't even remember he'd been the Ranger, that performance was so forgettable) but he was stiff, dry and struggled at times to maintain a really shootty accent. 

Most of you won't remember the original series.  I do vaguely.  My dad watched what I guess were re-runs when I was a small child.  What I remember was that the TV show was fun.  The two actors (who now hate each other, and one is Ducky on NCIS) played well off each other, they had an easy on-screen chemistry and the show sparked and sizzled with snarky dialogue. 

It was also on TV at the perfect time, airing from 1964 to 1968.  The country lived in fear of the Russian menace, buried in the middle of the Cold War, imagining spies around every corner.  Kennedy had just been assassinated, Oswald was widely assumed to have Russian leanings, Vietnam was beginning to ramp up.  It was a different time and place. 

This movie was set in the same era.  Where Holmes was able to evoke a legitimate sense of time and place for the quaint and odd characters, this film never really found that same groove. It just seemed a little dated.  Kids can imagine Victorian England I think.  But it's hard for them to get their heads around the 60s.  Maybe just me, but I think this film would truly have worked better if the director had chunked the era and reset the movie in a normal time. 

The TV show was fun.  This movie could have been, but just never quite got there. 

The girl was hot.  Seriously hot. 

I will say that I MUCH prefer this treatment of TV shows I loved than the farcical (and shootty) reboots like Ben Stiller's fudgeing OFFENSIVE Starsky and Hutch, Drew Barrymore's limpid Charlie's Angels, the blah A-Team and the other quasi-spoofs that have been occasionally done. 

Starsky and Hutch could have been a FANTASTIC movie with the right players.  Imagine like Mark Ruffalo and Bradley Cooper or Ryan Reynolds or something with a good script... 

Anyway, this movie isn't bad.  I enjoyed it.  I thought the ending (well, one of them as there were numerous endings) was a little contrived and anti-climactic, but it wasn't bad. 

Can't say rush out and see it, but if you pull it up on Netflix one day, give it a shot. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1963 on August 18, 2015, 10:53:34 PM »

Straight Outta Compton is, predictably, awesome.  I wanted more back-story and would have gladly traded some of the post-break up meandering to know how Cube and Dre started working at the club together.

Oshea Junior is legit.  He's got his pop's mannerisms down pretty well.  Look out for remakes of Are We There Yet and the Friday franchise.  Watch for the origin of "Bye, Felicia" in SOC.

The guys that play Suge and Pac are dead-ringers...Snoop was poorly cast.

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1964 on August 19, 2015, 12:02:41 AM »

Straight Outta Compton is, predictably, awesome.  I wanted more back-story and would have gladly traded some of the post-break up meandering to know how Cube and Dre started working at the club together.

Oshea Junior is legit.  He's got his pop's mannerisms down pretty well.  Look out for remakes of Are We There Yet and the Friday franchise.  Watch for the origin of "Bye, Felicia" in SOC.

The guys that play Suge and Pac are dead-ringers...Snoop was poorly cast.
Huh?
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1965 on August 19, 2015, 12:50:36 AM »

shoot on a Plane, aka Hot Pursuit and Get Hard

Plane delayed in Texas.  My 9 am flight left at 4 pm.  They "had to get a different plane out of the maintenance hanger because the original plane was unable to fly."  That's scary in its own right.  For my inconvenience I got a $7 meal voucher, a $50 credit toward future flights (some exceptions apply) and free TV/movies on the flight. 

I started trying to watch Hot Pursuit with Mangled-English Boobs and I-used-to-think-she-was-cute Reese Witherspoon. 

Here Reese channeled her massively shootty Holly Hunter impersonation.  I expected her at any moment to tell Hi to go "git her thayut baybee."   Sweet Moses she was terrible.  Her performance was among the worst I've ever seen in any movie I've ever watched.  The cast of Zombeavers was significantly better. I've seen better acting in a porno. 

Mush mouth mexican big tits was no better.  Awful.  Horrible. Abysmal. Gratingly bad. 

I rarely -- if ever -- give up on a movie.  I've watched some horrendous shoot to the bitter, bile-spewing end. 

This rotten moldy turd of a movie?  I gave up about 20 minutes in.  I can't think of any comedy I've ever seen that came close to being this bad except possibly that shockingly shootty Bruce Willis/Tracy Morgan sulfur fart of a film.  I turned it off.  Changed the channel.

Switched over to Get Hard, having missed the opening set up. 

It was barely fair, but in comparison to what I'd been watching it was a vast improvement.  Will Ferrell once again playing the same lame ass character he plays in every movie and Kevin Hart snoozing through this weak ass film to get a payday.  That was about it. 

There was some useless offensive material, a mild semi-chuckle here and there, but otherwise it was pretty lame. 

I'm sick of Will Ferrell playing the same character.  He's as bad as Adam Sandler about that shoot. 

I wouldn't watch either of them again.  I'd watch a Nicholas Cage marathon before I'd watch one minute of Hot Pursuit.  It was that bad. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1966 on August 19, 2015, 01:28:00 AM »

Straight Outta Compton is, predictably, awesome.  I wanted more back-story and would have gladly traded some of the post-break up meandering to know how Cube and Dre started working at the club together.

Oshea Junior is legit.  He's got his pop's mannerisms down pretty well.  Look out for remakes of Are We There Yet and the Friday franchise.  Watch for the origin of "Bye, Felicia" in SOC.

The guys that play Suge and Pac are dead-ringers...Snoop was poorly cast.
I can't wait to watch thanks for the review.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1967 on August 19, 2015, 01:45:08 AM »

Straight Outta Compton is, predictably, awesome.  I wanted more back-story and would have gladly traded some of the post-break up meandering to know how Cube and Dre started working at the club together.

Oshea Junior is legit.  He's got his pop's mannerisms down pretty well.  Look out for remakes of Are We There Yet and the Friday franchise.  Watch for the origin of "Bye, Felicia" in SOC.

The guys that play Suge and Pac are dead-ringers...Snoop was poorly cast.




I know it's long, but it gives answers to some of the questions I had.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1968 on August 19, 2015, 11:21:59 AM »

Kid that played Eazy E stole the show in Straight Outta Compton.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1969 on August 19, 2015, 11:46:52 AM »

You guys are skrate up hood.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1970 on August 19, 2015, 01:58:00 PM »

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1971 on August 20, 2015, 10:32:47 PM (Edited August 20, 2015, 10:48:46 PM) »

Disney: Descendants

Disney Channel movie aimed at Tweens.  Basic story is the descendants of the Disney big bads like Malificent get to go to school with the kids of the do-gooders. 

My 15 year old girls wanted to watch it.

The lead actress is one of those Disney is trying to flog as the next big thing.

Over the years I've watched this channel sink to lower and lower depths in terms of the actors it tries to build.  Miley was bad, but when you're flopping around with rancid shoot like Zach and Cody, those smart ass kids on Jessie, that disgusting fat sow on Austin/Ally (that entire cast is an abomination) and a blogging dog you're swimming in the toilet bowl. With this hideous screeching, mugging puke, Disney has scraped the scummy remnants of a diarrhea dump.  This bitch CANNOT act.  Her singing makes me want to murder meerkats.  She makes random squeaking and moaning noises like Michael Jackson having and epileptic fit. She's awful. 

Add in the ugly ass punk kid from Jessie and a turd load of other really shootty actors and actresses?  You've got this stinking load of dumbo dung. 

Yeah and while you're at it, fudge up some pretty clear concepts, mmmk? 

Yeah Cruella was a black woman who looks like aunt Esther from Sanford and Son.  And sleeping beauty's mom was a black woman.  Except she's white.  No. 

Oh lord this thing is disturbingly bad. 

Disney spent a lot of money trying to polish this turd cast. But it still reeks of shoot. 

I would like to to have seen it with the cast of that Victoria Justice show doing these roles instead of these insipid Disney kids. Too bad that's not going to happen. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1972 on September 14, 2015, 06:46:16 AM »

The Visit

M. Night Shalamadang was ruined by The Sixth Sense.  Good movie with the "big twist" that people talked about for months.  He's spent the rest of his career trying to recreate that "big surprise" instead of concentrating on making good movies. 

Unbreakable was fair: Surprise Jules is a bad guy!, Signs was borderline: Surprise, aliens don't like water! and then he just shoot the twisty bed.  The Village: Surprise, it's today (like no plane would EVER fly over).  The Happening: Surprise, it's plants! The Devil: Surprise, it's one of us! Lady in the Water: Surprise, Paul Giamatti sucks. 

Once again, he's got to jam a pretty apparent surprise into a film that actually has a good premise and a chance to be pretty scary. 

Sadly the premise is left to languish, the words the characters are given to say are laborious and there are too many possibilities left unexplored. 

I don't think the movie was supposed to be funny but twice during the film I laughed so hard I nearly made myself sick.  Laughed more and harder at this movie than any Will Ferrell film in the last ten years.  Combined. 

The movie wasn't as scary as it should have been.  The actors were god awful with the exception of the grandparents -- who weren't allowed to really stretch their characters as they could/should have.  The girl was exceedingly verbose and spoke as if an adult who knew nothing about children wrote her dialogue. The rapping boy was annoying but did have some  good comedic relief moments.  The mother -- Kathryn Hahn -- was absolutely terrible.

The movie dragged and dragged and dragged with nothing much but some occasionally strange behavior to break up the non-stop babbling by overly-verbose daughter.  Then apparently Shamalamabingbong looked at his watch, realized he only had seven minutes to wrap up the film and then forced every second of action -- from reveal to closure -- in a four-minute blur. 

The PG-13 rating never allowed the movie to explore the depths of depravity it could have. It never crossed that edge into being scary enough. There was never nearly enough menace.  You never sensed that anyone was in any real peril.  By the time the menace should have manifested itself, Slammayalaming was rushing to the credits. It was mostly just strange goofiness and sort of what you'd expect from old people sliding into dementia.

I read somewhere that the movie was made for less than $5 million and it looked it.  The thing appeared to be filmed on an iPhone as most of it was just the kids filming themselves. 

It was better than that shootty Unfriended, though. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1973 on September 27, 2015, 11:22:01 PM (Edited September 27, 2015, 11:31:07 PM) »

Black Mass
Whitey Bulger's story has always intrigued me.  I've read four or five books about the guy.  Watched several documentaries.  When I was up there a year or so ago I drove through South Boston and found some of the places where Whitey hung out, places where he killed people in broad daylight. 

The man was a straight up psychopath. Maybe the LSD experiments he signed up for in Alcatraz messed him up.  Maybe it was the death of his son. Maybe his mom. But he was killing people way before that.  Whitey's probably the last larger than life OG.  The story of his rise to power, his ruthless South Boston rule and his life on the lam should have been a compelling one.  Too bad this movie picked the wrong pieces of Whitey's life on which to focus, left too much untold and moved at a snail's pace.

Johnny Depp did a fantastic job of capturing the mannerisms, the look, the aura of menace, the general psycopathy. He became Whitey.  Performances like this are why I once thought Depp might be the best actor of this generation.  You take this, the first Jack Sparrow, Donnie Brasco, Scissorhands, Once Upon a time in Mexico, and a few others and that body of work is outstanding. He's got just as many shootty ones, though.

The rest of the cast had the cachet, but really dragged the movie down.

Bendingrichard Cumberbitch was bloody awful as Billy Bulger. He didn't fit the part at all. His Boston accent was the same snooty british shoot he did as Sherlock. Fail.

Joel Edgerton was a flop as John Connolly.  The film didn't spend nearly enough time examining the real relationship between Whitey and John.  It wasted too much time doing other shoot. 

Completely wasted: Kevin Bacon, Adam Scott, Corey Stoll, Juno Temple. No point in any of them being in it. 

Whitey's story is fascinating.  The movie just failed to make the case.  Not for lack of trying on Depp's part.  He was fantastic.  The rest was just limp. 

Parts of Bulger's story have already made it to the screen.  Jack Nicholson's character in The Departed was loosely based on Whitey. 

The showtime series Brotherhood was essentially a carbon copy of Bulger's story with a Rhode Island setting.  In case you never watched it, the series was pretty good.  Jason Isaacs was the older brother, the ruthless gangster who went away then came back to rule the neighborhood. Jason Clarke was the younger brother who was a state political power, a senator and straight up guy.  Their story was Jimmy and Billy made over. Also some nude annabeth gish in that show which adds to its luster.  Better to watch this series than the long and plodding movie that even Depp's best efforts couldn't save.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1974 on September 28, 2015, 09:02:59 AM »

Black Mass
Black Mass Review

That's disappointing I was looking forward to seeing this.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1975 on September 28, 2015, 09:27:05 AM »

That's disappointing I was looking forward to seeing this.

Ditto....why K gotta be fudgeing up our high expectations?

Imma still go see it though. Like him, I'm intrigued by the guy. Bad mofo.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1976 on September 28, 2015, 09:33:28 AM »

That's disappointing I was looking forward to seeing this.

Negative Asshole.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1977 on September 28, 2015, 09:34:53 AM »

Don't let K's review discourage you.  Nothing is ever good enough for him.

It's a very good movie and Depp is fantastic (the makeup is a little off-putting, though...he looks like Ray Liotta knocked up Leo DiCaprio and they had an elderly baby.  I kept waiting for Depp to scream at KA-ren!)

Agree with the complaints about pacing, the movie drags a bit, but it's worth your time and $.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1978 on September 28, 2015, 09:43:07 AM »

Ditto....why K gotta be fudgeing up our high expectations?

Imma still go see it though. Like him, I'm intrigued by the guy. Bad mofo.

It's worth seeing just for Depp's performance. 

I might have liked it better had I not known all the things they left out. Had I not known how some things were glossed over or ridiculously simplified.  Had I not known that some things were just not as portrayed. 

The scenes with the FBI were really poorly done IMO.  Would have been better to just make the movie about Jimmy and had the FBI guy hovering around the periphery or make the movie about the FBI and have Jimmy out there as an evil specter. 

It was too long, but it didn't do nearly enough to explain:

> Jimmy's rise to power and the Kileen-Mullen war
> His control of the drug trade
> The whole Valhalla situation
> How he took care of rivals
> How Connolly got seduced by money, power and fame
> Jimmy's women
> His prep for life on the lam
> His relationship with Steve and Kevin, and how he controlled them

There were bits and pieces of all of that in there.  I took friends who knew nothing about the Winter Hill gang and all the disconnected pieces of story left them confused about what was happening and why.  I was also a little confused about what they were trying to do with Jimmy.  Were they trying to make him a little sympathetic?  They softened the edges sometimes. 

American Hustle was similar because there was such a broad story that had to be told, but that movie did it so much better than this one.  I was really hoping for an epic that would stand with Goodfellas or Casino in the mob movie pantheon. Just wasn't that.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1979 on October 01, 2015, 06:59:46 AM »

Due Date

Might have been reviewed back on page 74.  Don't recall.  Never seen this 2010 flick but it came on last night. Robert Downey, Jr. and Zach Gafalakinikalis...alafinis basically remake Planes, Trains & Automobiles.  Exact same story line. Probably more what the sequel would be like.  Downey Jr. plays Steve Martin's straight-laced character trying to get home to his wife without wallet or luggage.  Gafalafa...err, Zach plays Candy, who is an aspiring actor on his way to Hollywood. 

Snickers-a-plenty.  A big waste of $$$ if you saw it in the theater.  A smaller waste of $$$ of you rented it.  Pretty entertaining if it comes on at 8:00 on a Wednesday night.  Worth the watch there. 
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