Archive for the ‘The Peanut Gallery’ Category

So will the 2010 Auburn defense be a steel curtain like they were against Alabama or a wet paper towel like they were against Northwestern?

By: JR4AU

The 2009 Auburn Defense suffered from a great lack of depth.  That was the buzz phrase last year.  It was true, but there was an overall lack of SEC level talent too. 

That lack of depth was compounded by an offense that was either quick strike or quick three and out.  Yes, the offense does contribute to the overall effectiveness of the defense, and vice versa.  Still, Auburn’s defense was just plain bad in 2009.  Injuries played a big part, but so did just plain lack of players. 

Chizik Looking Quite Bookish

by: jadennis

I was shocked when Chizik was hired.  It was the kind of thing that would ruin my day out of nowhere.  I would be going along through a day, doing fine, then remember we just hired Chizik, and I would get chest pains.

That lasted a few days.  Then I used my brain, and not my heart, because honestly, my heart had no business feeling at this point…it didn’t have anything to really go on.  I realized how many great hires had turned poopty over the years.  I remembered how many “who the hell is that” hires had turned golden.

Many have said how good of a hire Charlie Strong is for Louisville.  Many even wanted him to get a shot at Auburn.  Isn’t he Ron Zook?  I mean, Zook did a good job at Florida as an assistant coach.  Zook only looks like a failure of a head coach hire NOW that we know better.  We deem Strong a good head coach hire….thing is, as of NOW, we don’t know any better.

By: THS

You never accept losing.  You never proclaim moral victories.  You never make excuses.  You always take responsibility for your performance.

Auburn…

- But we’re going to break the rules.  I just can’t get upset with this team right now.  I did that enough after the LSU game.  Our guys have busted their butts all year.  It’s been a hell of a fight to turn the program back around.  I wish I could go on another diatribe about Chizik’s future, but this rollercoaster of a season has silenced any opinions.  Think about what we HAVE accomplished:

By: Harvey Birdman

To listen to OL Coach, Jeff Grimes, one would think the depth problems that seemingly have a stranglehold on the 09′ Tigers, is alive and well with this unit.  That could very well be from the standpoint of finding suitable backups to the apparent #1′s across the front.  However, from a sheer numbers perspective, this unit appears to be in a little better shape than some.  Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately from our opponent’s view, the caliber of this year’s O-line is judged by many based on the debacle that was the 2008 Auburn Football Tigers.  Not much seems to be expected from this bunch, but keep in mind a couple of key differences when gauging expectations.  The first is a new staff and obvious change from what had become the dreaded Nall-ball.

Taint: The In Between Meat

by: AWK

The first ever calling of the taint has occurred.  I woke up this morning and walked outside wearing no pants, and coincidentally the weather was surprisingly cool…on my taint.  The air smelled of freshly cut grass and it reminded me of football season.  My taint began to tingle.  I decided to take a drive down a country road and think about things, with no pants of course.  The drive was taintastic and I knew the football season was right around the corner.   So in honor of Chris Todd, Nick Saban, Brett Favre, and all things taint, I now officially call the taint.  For those of you that don’t know, this means that football season has arrived.  So, for traditions sake, walk around with no pants on today…treat your taint to the open road…or just punch your significant other in the taint.  Remember guys, War Damn Eagle, and O N E Taint at a Time. You might wonder just what the taint is, and how it affects humanity….feel free to inquire and ask the taint master himself AWK in our forums.

A better comparison?

By: Chizad

When Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel had the audacity to compare Urban Meyer to Bear Bryant Almighty, it ruffled Paul Finebaum’s feathers. He found it his civic duty to write not  one, but two articles obsessing over how blasphemous and sacrilegious it was to make such a claim. He then used it as an opportunity to drive the inane conversations of the inbred callers on his show for weeks, who were of course equally outraged.

I’m taking a page from Finebaum’s book. I too am going to take an article that I have recently read in which the author compares a head coach of whom I’m not a fan with a beloved figure, and obsess over how ridiculously stupid I think the comparison is.

Ray Melick recently compared Nick Saban to Batman.

By: Harvey Birdman

Observations from my La-Z-Boy armchair on the linebackers.

It’s been said numerous times when analyzing this year’s version of the Auburn Tigers, that barring a rash of injuries, the first teamers should be able to line up with just about anybody.  Lack of depth seems to be the catch phrase for 2009 and no truer words were ever spoken in reference to the linebacking corp.  Following Spring practice and the fall camp reports, it appears the starters will be:

Josh Bynes 6’2″ 239

Craig Stevens 6’3″ 223

Eltoro Freeman 5’11″ 222

Bynes and Stevens have a wealth of experience and Freeman, an original signee and JUCO transfer, comes in with all the stars and hype anyone could ever want in a player.  Recent reports have him sidelined temporarily with a cast on his hand and hamstring problem.  However, if the reports on his play are to be believed, Freeman could wind up being the player Auburn thought it was getting in the “Little Ball of Hate”.

How will the D-Line Fair for 2009?

By: Harvey Birdman

I’ll start today with our D-linemen. On our Defensive line, I show the following payers who will obviously be in the rotation and some guys who will be backups and/or contribute. I see these 4 rotating on the interior.

Mike Blanc 6’4″ 288
Zack Clayton 6’3″ 281
Jake Ricks 6’4″ 292
Nick Fairley 6’5″ 293

Backup could come from

Derrick Lykes 6’2 284
Jamar Travis 6’0 308

Auburn From Google Earth

Believe it or not, an Alabama fan will actually make the claim that Tuscaloosa is nicer and/or more aesthetically pleasing than Auburn. You can’t really blame them. I’m sure Pistons Fans think Detroit is a beautiful city as well.

To add to this confusion, the most vocal group of Alabama fans are the ones who have never actually stepped foot in the city, let alone attended college there. They have only heard folk tales from their gran-pappy about a magical land in which the rivers flow with houndstooth patterned water and Bear Bryant sits at the golden gates only allowing the most ardent of Alabama fans into his wondrous kingdom.

So allow me to put this “debate” to rest once and for all.

Exhibit A:

By: Harvey Birdman

With the second of the three seasons of college football behind us (Recruiting, Spring Football and Football Season) it’s time to take stock in some of the things that came out in Spring Practice and where this program appears to be headed. Mind you, this is merely the observations and perceptions of this feeble minded author who is still waiting to coach his first college football game.  Most of the insight into the current state of the program comes from the Spring game itself.  Coach Chizik purposely kept a fairly tight lid on the actual practices leading up to the glorified scrimmage at JHS on April 18th.  Approximately 45,000 fans were treated to a short, but very entertaining show that featured a glimpse of the new offense under OC Gus Malzahn and served to answer some questions, but raise a few more.