Thoughts – Week 7

Before we begin, we need to discuss an established problem that plagues the SEC.

The Officiating…

– I’m an Auburn fan, but I’ll be the first to admit that a few of our touchdowns were total bullshit.  The replay officials must have been blind or must have been so obsessed with the “conclusive evidence” rule that they were unwilling to overturn two calls on the field that went Auburn’s way.

– But before rival fans jump up and down and say “Auburn won THIS game because of bad calls,” the officials have helped numerous teams over the years win football games when it may have been possible for them to lose.

– Bad celebration calls.  Bad fumble calls (who signaled touchdown when Fannin apparently fumbled going into the endzone?).  Bad pass interference calls.  Bad late hit calls.  These bad calls happen enough that I believe it’s time to take a big roll of toilet paper and wipe the shit stains off of the SEC asshole.

– Why not start over?  Why not open up a few jobs and offer a little more money and snag a few refs from other conferences?  Or better yet, why not increase the standards required to be an SEC official?

– I, for one, am tired of seeing horrendous officiating in the premier league of college football.  It’s either time to get rid of Penn Wagers or open up the replay booth to review penalties and also give them the power to overturn a call based on common sense.  It may not have been conclusive that Mario Fannin fumbled before the endzone, but it sure as hell wasn’t conclusive that he crossed the goal line.  For that play, I’m sorry Arkansas for the bullshit.


– But we still kicked your ass offensively.  Auburn’s offense continues to churn out huge numbers led by superfreak Cam Newton.  I love it.  I love that it’s a high school offense that works in the SEC.  I love that we look like the 6A school playing a 3A school on homecoming every week.

–  I love that we play “All I Do is Win” before games and then actually live up to the theme of the song.  We don’t necessarily dominate in games, but we make damn sure we win.  We fight to make sure we make just a few more plays than the other team to win the football game.  This reminds me of the 2002 Ohio State Buckeyes.  They fought just hard enough to win every game – albeit, it was a defensive slugfest each week – and they clawed their way to a national championship.

– On to a serious note, the defense needs help.  I know this is a “duh” statement, but our defense is seemingly getting worse.  We’re now going to be dealing with a few injuries in the secondary.  I expect to see 350+ passing yards from here on out against us including UT Chattanooga.  This is not going to be an easy end to the season.

– LSU, Ole Miss, UT-C, UGA, and Bama.  And they’re all going to be gunning for us.  We’re no longer the underdog.  In fact, we’re the big dog.  This is going to be a real Amen Corner experience.


– This is a tough break because Arkansas did just about everything right.  Cam Newton simply was too good to be stopped, so Arkansas had to go on the offensive with a 2nd string quarterback.

– The guy was phenomenal.  Great reads.  Perfect throws.  He really put his team in a position to win, but the defense just couldn’t hold up.  At the end, his inexperience cost his team the game, but it was still a valiant effort for a guy that was thrown into the fire.

– I thought this year was the year for Arkansas, but with this kid taking over next year, Arkansas will be just as good without Mallett.

South Carolina…

– I think you could see it on Spurrier’s face after the game.  I think you could see, “Well, this is still the South Carolina program, and we’ll always suck” projecting from his eyes.

– Spurrier pulled a Les Miles.  But before we laugh and point fingers, we must ask, “Why would Steve Spurrier, one of the most sound coaches in history, pull a Les Miles?”

– South Carolina has a history of losing.  They also have a history of almost turning the corner and then losing anyway.  History was staring Spurrier in the face.  He had to kick history’s ass.  Kentucky had the momentum.  South Carolina might not have even made the field goal.  Overtime would have been tough to win because Cobb and Locke and Hartline were all on their game.  So he went for the homerun ball hoping he’d have a few seconds left to kick the field goal if needed.  But the pass was intercepted and South Carolina lost.  You ask, “Why did this happen?”

– Because it’s South Carolina and this is their history.  They’re the low country for a reason.

– So who actually wants to win the East?  South Carolina is still in the driver’s seat, but they have to play Arkansas and Florida.  And if Arkansas beats South Carolina and if South Carolina beats Florida and Kentucky beats Georgia and the rest of the games go the way they should, then you’ll have…

– Kentucky in the SECCG.


– You suck.  HAHAHAHAHA.


– Ho-hum.  Mediocre.  Typical.

– I even fell asleep through some of this game.  Alabama’s games are almost scripted this year.  Ingram and Richardson get stuffed.  McElwain tries to put the game on McElroy’s shoulders.  McElory and Co are JUST good enough to score a few points on an overmatched defense.  Bama’s defense makes big plays to ensure a victory.

– It’s the Sabam formula.  A dominating defense and a “don’t screw it up” offense.

– I am underwhelmed at McElwain’s play calling.  It is becoming a bit predictable, but more so, the strategy just seems off.  It might not have been very obvious last night, but the way Ole Miss’s offense was playing, Alabama should have had 35 points in the first half.

Ole Miss…
– I guess this is what Ole Miss will always be.  Horrible.  Houston Nutt needs to retire and then come back in a few years at a school like Wyoming.  That was some of the worst play calling I’ve ever seen, and their offense looked like they had never played in a game before.


– So NOW you decide to be a good football team.  Well I hope this recent streak of dominating performances ends well before November 13th.

Oklahoma State/Michigan State…

– Undefeated.  Ranked #20.  /  Undefeated.  Ranked #13.  Why aren’t they ranked higher?  Tradition and performance from last year.  You can formulate your own opinion on that one.

Ohio State…

– This, Ohio State, is why I’ve been so critical about your schedule.  Playing cupcakes does not prepare you for the tough games required to win a national championship.  I’ll forgive you for Miami being mediocre, but these patsy teams you’ve played have actually be detrimental to your championship run despite you winning them.

– Wisconsin hit you in the mouth, and it was the first time this season you had been hit in the mouth.  You’re the spoiled rich girl who doesn’t understand a lick about hard work.  You’re handed top rankings every year.  You’re glorified and fawned over by all the media gurus.  You read about how great you are in the papers after defeating “tough” conference foes like Indiana.  You’re automatically vaulted to #1 despite having nothing but the name Ohio State to back up the ranking.

– And then you got hit in the mouth.  And then you lost.


– Well, with the way this season has gone, we need to start learning USC’s cheers.

– I believe we will get left out of the national championship if we go undefeated.  I just can’t shake that ominous feeling that the voters are either A) Stupid or B) Bama fans.

– Therefore, I want all of the teams in front of us to lose.  Ohio State lost.  Nebraska lost.  Now we need Oregon and Oklahoma to lose.

– In two weeks, Oregon will travel to the Coliseum.  Fight On.


– “We, uh, you see, Jordan Jefferson is a damn fine, uh, I mean, what I mean is, you see, we were looking ahead, not against McNeese St, but when we finished with Florida, we, um, looked ahead to Auburn, because we, uh, you see these guys are, this quarterback, like Jordan, uh, is really good, and we, uh, Gary and I, we had to look ahead to, uh, getting these men, our boys, inspired to beat Auburn.”


– Overrated much?  Taylor Martinez the greatest since Frazier?  The Black Shirt Defense is back?  Revenge against Texas?  What was that you were saying?

My Wet Dream…

– We go undefeated.  Beat Bama.  Win the SEC.  Head to Glendale and find Boise State waiting on us.  That would make me happy.


– I heard the guys on CBS talking before the game, and one of the dipshits said something along the lines of, “Well, Oklahoma, Ohio State, and Oregon were all ranked ahead of Auburn in the preseason polls, so that’s just the way it is.”

– This is why college football is walking a very thin line.  It’s very close to being laughed out of the sports world, and it just so happens that every year, a few upsets happen to keep it relevant.

– Imagine a world where the NFL playoffs have three tournament brackets.  At the end of the three weeks of playoffs, there are three teams leftover.  Two of them are chosen to play in the Super Bowl and one goes home.

– Imagine a world where after the Elite 8 in the NCAA basketball tournament, 1 team gets a bye week, two teams play in an elimination game, and 1 team goes home.  Why?  Because the tournament committee deliberated and determined that 1 team was good enough to get rest for the championship and 1 wasn’t worthy of even being there.

– That’s the college football world.  If Oklahoma, Oregon, Boise State, TCU, Michigan State, and Auburn all go undefeated, who do you leave out?  And when you leave a team out, what reason do you give for leaving them out?

– Let’s look at the possible reasons:

1.  Oklahoma – Oklahoma defeated a weak Texas team and struggled against a weak nonconference opponent, Utah State.  Sure they went on to defeat Missouri @Missouri and defeated Oklahoma State in Stillwater and won the Big 12 championship against Nebraska, but they didn’t do enough to impress the voters to be one of the two teams in Glendale.  And they really needed to impress the voters because we all know how Oklahoma performs in BCS games.  They lose.  They lost BCS games the last few years, so we know that’s what will happen this year.

2.  Oregon – Oregon plays in the PAC 10, which really isn’t as competitive as the SEC or the Big 12.  With USC being on probation, that win isn’t as impressive as it once was.  Their nonconference has left a lot to be desired as they only played New Mexico and Portland State.  Tennessee, even though Oregon had no control over this, is horrible and should not be taken into consideration.

3.  Boise State – Boise State, despite being undefeated, despite defeating good BCS opponents, despite winning every non conference game since playing Georgia in 2006, doesn’t deserve to play in the BCSCG.  They play in a weak conference, and despite blowing out every one of those teams, they haven’t done enough to impress the voters.

4.  TCU – TCU is the odd man out.  We aren’t going to vote two mid-major teams into the BCSCG – money and tradition purposes – and Boise State began the season ranked higher than TCU.  Why?  Because Boise State won the Fiesta Bowl last year against TCU, and we all know that what happened last year directly influences what happens this year.

5.  Michigan State – They started ranked outside of the top 15.  They don’t play Ohio State.  They needed trickery to beat Notre Dame.  They aren’t Michigan.

6.  Auburn – Despite winning the SEC and beating four teams once ranked in the Top Ten and beating the defending national champion in their home stadium and having the Heisman Trophy winner, Auburn started ranked too low.  Preseason polls gets them again.  Maybe if they didn’t have a non conference slate of UT-Chattanooga, Arkansas State, and LA Monroe, they would have impressed the voters just enough to get to Glendale.

– You tell me which one of these is a logical explanation for leaving a team out of the national championship game, and I’ll start defending the polls for the rest of the season.

– Here’s what I propose:

– The FBS is too big.  120 teams?  There’s no way to determine who is truly the best team.  So here’s what you do:

–  You narrow the FBS to 60 teams.  6 conferences.  10 teams per conference.  Conference champions are automatic qualifiers for the playoffs.  You can still use a ranking system to determine who the two at-large teams are.  Now you have a playoff similar to the NFL.

– What would also make college football better is to eliminate the national championship.  Just turn the bowl games into a war of conferences and rotate the schedule each year.  “This year, the Pac 10 will square off against the SEC.  Who will represent who in the bowl games this year?”

Final Thought…

– Auburn vs. LSU.  For all the marbles.  Until they both play Bama…

– Auburn’s 65 point scorin’ offense versus LSU’s NFL-ready defense.  LSU’s peewee level offense versus Auburn’s powder puff defense.

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